Alone With My Thoughts | Jikook

Chapter 7. Not here.

Jimin stayed silent.

'When did anyone ever actually care for you? You're fat! You're ugly! You're annoying! You're a huge waste of space. Literally. They just want to look good in case there's a camera. You hold the group back. They wish they didn't fight for you when you were kicked out. That was there biggest mistake. Now there stuck with you, But. You can fix that. You can make them happy. You only have to do one thing and there are so many options for it as well! Fun! We can die together! Then your fat ass will no longer be in there way and they can actually get somewhere in life.'

Jimin squinted his eyes shut and rested his head on his leg looking like a ball on the table. Trying to block out the thoughts.

'I will only get worse.'

Jimin couldn't hold in his tears as they silently flowed from his eyes dripping onto his hands wetting them but he didn't care. He couldn't even think straight. He just cried.

'That's all you can do? Cry? Pathetic! No wonder he chose her!'

This made Jimin's whines louder.

"Kookie~"

Jimin tried to block out the voice. After all. Jennie never did anything to him.

"Jennie?"

"Jimin?"

Jimin couldn't hear anymore. He started to panic. A second ago he could hear just fine but now. It's like sound never existed.

"Jimin?"

No answer.

"CHIM!"

Nothing.

"PARK JIMIN!"

Still nothing. Just silent sobs and fast, shallow breaths.

Two hands gripped tightly onto Jimins shoulders causing him to flinch and look up meeting the eyes of the worried younger.

"Hyung? Were you crying?"

Jimin still couldn't hear him. As his vision began blurring.

"Help"

"What?" Jungkook questioned as he seen Jimins eyes roll back into there sockets as his lids fell heavy resting over his eyes.

"Hyung? HYUNG?" Jungkook yelled catching the other members attention as they seen Jimins body slump into Jungkooks embrace all rushing over.

"What just happened??" Taehyung yell-asked. Jungkook just looked at him with a worried expression. "I don't know.."

Jimin POV:

It's dark. I don't like the dark. They say once all light is gone there's no escaping...I don't see any light...I don't hear anything..I can't feel anything..Whats happening? Have I bent down to my demons? Have I allowed them to whisper all these lies into my ears allowing me to believe every piece of information they tell me? What about ARMY? What about my hyungs? What about him? Will it really help? Will doing this really help? I guess the only way to find out is to do it. I should be selfish this once. I always put everyone above me. Well not today. I'm going to be selfish..

A/N POV:

Sounds slowly began returning as the boy was beginning to hear his hyungs panicked voices. His eyes were too weak to open but he could release some sort of sound allowing a groan to escape his mouth as he tried to forcefully open his eyes focusing all his energy on opening his eyes.

All the members fell silent and stared at Jimin as he released another short groan this time eyes slightly opening before quickly falling again.

"Jimin-ssi?"

Jimin tried to open his eyes again this time being successful. Seeing all his hyungs around him as he was in the arms of Jungkook.

"Huh?" Jimin questioned silently.

"Jimin?" Jin asked concerned to which Jimin hummed in response.

"What's happening to you?"

"N-nothing"

"Jimin. Don't make eomma repeat herself."

"Nothing." Jimin muttered again.

"Please put me down..." Jimin requested as Jungkook nodded gently placing Jimin down.

"Jimin, you're going home." Namjoon stated as Jimin silently nodded.

"How?" Jimin muttered.

"Jungkook? Your ahead on the choreography. You won't be missing anything do you mind?" Namjoon asked as Jungkook shook his head and began to lead Jimin out of the building ignoring Jennie.

As they reached the car Jungkook opened the door for Jimin who silently entered the passenger seat waiting patiently for Jungkook to get in.

Jungkook started the car and began driving to the dorm. Jimin ignoring him again. Crushing Jungkook. Once they arrived, samething. Jimin rushed into the dorm not waiting for Jungkook.

Jungkook was determined to talk to Jimin today. Figure out what was happening to him.

He entered the dorm to find his bedroom door locked he sighed allowing Jimin to have his privacy deciding to watch some TV.

Jimin rushed to his bedside dresser frantically looking through his drawer until he reached a knife. The memory of how he received the knife replaying in his mind.

Pasttttt

"Jimin-ah?"

"Yes, kookie?"

"You know all the death threats you have been receiving recently?" Jimin simply nodded.

"Well I bought you this for protection." Jimin giggled "Jungkookie~ No one is actually going to hurt me" Jimin laughed.

"I know but in case!" Jungkook persuaded showing Jimin a beautiful knife.

Present time

Jimin gently ran his finger across the engravement. 'Mochi protection! Love Kookie!'

Jimin slowly folded his sleeves up and cut deep. Watching the blood ooze from his newly created wound. Before creating many more. One after the other until his wrist was dripping with blood Jimin walked to the bathroom placed the knife down and grabbed a towel wiping off the blood before taking a deep breath and leaving the bedroom.

"Hey Mochi!" Jungkook greets as Jimin just smiled and sat next to the said male. Jungkook poked his tongue in his cheek thinking about a time to ask Jimin.

Half way through the movie Jungkook took a deep breath and paused the movie before turning to look at Jimin. 

"Jimin." Jungkook starts causing Jimin to look at him confused.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?" Jungkook asks as Jimin tilts his head in confusion.

"Did I hurt you?" Jungkook asks, Jimin looked down and gulps.

"No Jungkook, you didn't hurt me. I'm just not myself. I'm not in the best condition." Jimin explains trying to avoid giving anything away.

"What? Are you sick?" Jungkook asks nervous.

"Why does it matter?" Jimin replied.

"What does that mean?" Jungkook questioned.

"Why does it matter? So what if I'm sick! So what if I am not here! It doesn't affect you." Jimin mutters.

"What do you mean 'so what if I'm not here'?"