Alone With My Thoughts | Jikook

Chapter 16. Let me die

The members couldn't bring themselves to step off that balcony, their beloved Jimin was down there. Blood running from his head eyes wide with a small smile painted on his lips as the rain soaked him, but also the shaking boy holding the still male in his strong grip not letting anything or anyone near. He was clutching Jimin tightly his face buried into the males neck as he sobbed and pleaded for the older to wake up.

Jeongguk didn't know what to do, the boy he loved was lifelessly lying in his arms. "FUCKING CALL SOMEONE!" Jeongguk screamed once again at the idols on the balcony. "THEY ARE ON T-THE W-WAY! J-JEONGGUK?" Jin yelled back through sobs. "W-WHAT?" Jeongguk screamed. "I-IS HE A-ALIVE?" Jin cried loudly. There was a pause as Jeongguk continued sobbing into the boy. "I-I, I DON'T KNOW H-HYUNG" Jeongguk replied a loud sob heard from the balcony.

Eventually the ambulance arrived and tried to take Jimin from Jeongguk to which the male just snarled and gripped the male tightly, glaring at the EMT. "Sir, we need to get him to the hospital." The EMT reasoned as Jeongguk paused and slowly but carefully loosened his grip on the fragile male carefully placing him into the care of the EMT. "Sir!" once Jeongguk was sure Jimin was safe and comfortable he ran to the other EMT grabbing his arm. "Let me  go with you! Please! You don't understand!" Jeongguk pleaded grabbing onto the EMT who just sighed and nodded pointing to the back where Jimin was being placed the younger quickly joining Jimin.

It was a long silent ride, at least it felt long. Jeongguk's mind was racing. "Why would he do that? What would I do without him? What if he doesn't make it? Is he dead?" Jeongguks mind wouldn't stop as he stared at the beautiful boy in front of him. Soaked from the rain as tears were dry on his face, a small smile plastered on his lips. The EMT had closed Jimin's eyes to avoid his eyes becoming dry. Eventually they stopped and before Jeongguk could think Jimin was hurled out of the ambulance and into the hospital, Jeongguk quickly following behind until a nurse pushed him back. "Sir! You can't go in there, wait over there." He followed her finger as his eyes trailed to a waiting room. "M-miss! W-what are they d-doing to him?" Jeongguk questioned his voice laced with dominance. "He is being rushed to surgery." But that was all she said before walking off causing Jeongguk to stand there lost as he only began to register everything that happened, his knees became weak as he lost his balance and fell to the ground. He didn't have the energy to stand up, as he sat there crying outside the room where they locked Jimin up.

It took the others ten minutes to arrive at the hospital, as the 5 members rushed in scanning the entrance not seeing Jeongguk anywhere. Jin ran to the front desk tears blocking his vision. "Where is Park Jimin!?" He screeched, his emotions taking over as the person behind the desk gulped and pointed towards a long hallway Jin following with his eyes noticing a familiar male violently sobbing on the floor, Hoseok beating him to it and rushing to Jeongguk's aid. "Jeongguk, shh. Its going to be okay." Hoseok softly exclaimed gently rubbing the lost boy's arm. As he fought his own emotions. Yoongi rushing over to the boys, assisting Hoseok in helping get Jeongguk to a seat. The other members quickly following suite and rushing to the boy's side.

Jeongguk sat on the chair staring at the floor unable to stop the waterfall of tears as he thought of Jimin's body earlier. "Jeongguk, listen. Jimin is strong, he will wake up." Jin reassured though he didn't know who he was trying to convince, Jeongguk or himself? "How can you sit there and lie like that hyung?" Jeongguk muttered. The others eyes widening. "This is all my fault!" Jeongguk verbalised a little louder this time. Namjoon hugging there maknae. "This is not your fault, Jeongguk." Namjoon stated. "YOU DIDN'T SEE THE WAY HE ACTED AROUND ME HYUNG!" Jeongguk yelled, his emotions getting the better of him. 

He abruptly stood up turning his back on everyone as he once again stared at the ground. "How did we not see, he was miserable.." Jeongguk clenched his fists and walked away from his hyungs.

JIMIN POV;

'I can't handle it anymore, this voice.. It is only telling the truth, they don't want me. The never did.' I glanced up at everyone. Jennie and Jeongguk are still talking, Lisa, Rose and Taehyung were talking. Namjoon and Jin are being a couple and Yoongi and Hoseok are feeding eachother but i'm here. Wasting space. No more..

I slowly stood up and stumbled over to the balcony, not before checking to make sure no one seen me. Though I already knew the answer. No one cared. My feet started moving without me, I reached the edge and slowly glanced down holding my breath as I noticed no one was there. Probably due to the rain. I slowly stepped over the barricade inhaling the sweet cold air for the last time. 

'I won't miss that'

"J-JIMIN AH!" I slowly turned my head seeing Jeongguk sprint to the balcony.

'but I will miss you.'

I gave Jeongguk an apologetic smile as I seen the tears cascading down his face like a water fall as I leaned forward.

'I love you, Jeon Jeongguk.'

It was dark, I heard my name once more.. I keep coming in and out of vision. I thought I was  supposed to be dead? Can't even do that, useless piece of shit.

"this- THIS IS JUST A C-CRUEL JOKE!"

'A joke?'

"J-Jimin. D-Don't leave me, p-please."

'Why now?'

"I-I.. I-I need y-you!"

'Why when i'm dead??'

 "FUCKING CALL SOMEONE!"

'No! Let me die..'

My ears are ringing, I can feel my heart beat. Worst of all, I can hear Jeongguk.. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO CARE! WHY DO YOU CARE?