Alone With My Thoughts | Jikook

Chapter 18. Lost count

'Dear Jiminie,  One month and a day. 2nd July 2018.

This is getting harder, time heals my ass. I am struggling to continue to watch you lifelessly lye on that bed your chest slowly raising. The doctors said you were supposed to wake up by now. I got you presents, but I can't tell you! Because then it wouldn't be a surprise! Wah! I can't wait for you to wake up, I need to see your smile again. I can- no. I WILL help you this time! I won't let you silently drown in front of me. Not again..

-Jungkookie <3'

July 3rd

July 4th

July 5th

July 6th

July 7th

July 8th

July 9th

July 10th

July 11th

July 12th

July 13th

July 14th

July 15th

July 16th

July 17th

July 18th

July 19th

July 20th

July 21st

July 22nd

July 23rd

July 24th

July 25th

July 26th

July 27th

July 28th

July 29th

July 30th

July 31st

'Dear angel,  two months. 1st August 2018.

Two months...I'm worried. Yesterday you stopped breathing, I had to watch the doctors rush you out of the room and back into emergency aid. I was so scared the nurses held me back again. Jin hyung let me cry into his chest until I fell asleep but still, I won't leave the room. The doctor came back about an hour later, he said you were stable but will spend the night in ICU. I haven't been able to watch over you today, they wouldn't let me in the ICU unit. Please wake up..                I love you, Park Jimin.

-Jungkookie <3'

August 2nd

August 3rd

August 4th

August 5th

August 6th

August 7th

August 8th

August 9th

August 10th

August 11th

August 12th

August 13th

August 14th

'Dear muffin,  Two and a half months. 15th August 2018.

I miss you, I'm sorry for hurting you. I was blind, I didn't notice you were dying right in front of me and its my fault. I will change for you just. Just please don't leave me. You probably want me to stop writing these letters. You believe things will never change between us. But I  can't, Jimin. I can't just...let you go. So please i'm begging you, open your eyes. For me..

-Jungkookie <3'

August 16th

August 17th

August 18th

August 19th

August 20th

'Dear core to my happiness, August 21st 2018.

I don't know how to tell you how much I miss you. I love you till my mind disappears. All I love, all I want, all I need is you...forever.  I want to be everywhere you are and I want you to be there too. I want to be just what you want me to be. I know it is stupid of me to write this now instead of when you were still beside me. I  promise to try a million times harder, just please...wake up.

-Jungkookie <3'

"Dear perfection, September 1st 2018.

Jimin, You are the only thing I want. Yet, I can't have you.. I have lost a lot of people in my life but....I never thought I might lose you...So please wake up Jimin, I can't lose you! I can't even say goodbye! Jimin my heart is getting tired of the pain, will you please wake up if I take all the pain away. Please wake up, I caused this I should be suffering! Not you! Jimin, I love you so so much!

- Your one and only, Jeon Jeonggukie >3' 

Jeongguk laid his head on the desk staring at the beautiful angel who laid peacefully lips slightly parted as soft shallow breaths left his lips, his hair starting to grow out from lack of cutting. Jeongguk took this opportunity stare at the boy infront of him slowly getting up and sitting next to him. Eventually I laid my head on his his chest and lost his battle against sleep falling asleep on Jimins chest.

The male was awoken to a soft hand gliding over his hair gently. Jeongguk slowly opened his eyes felt his heart stop when he seen Jimin, awake. Looking directly at him. Jeongguks head shot up.

"J-Jimin!?"