Mrs. Way

keep running.

           The day was just the weather you might expect for a funeral, dark, cloudy and rainy. The seats in the funeral parlor were uncomfortable, probably because everything right now is uncomfortable, nor were they child friendly.  They were the only chairs left, so either way I had to get theses uncomfortable, useless chairs.   

          After I got the thoughts about these chairs out of my head I began to hang up Gerard's favorite flowers on the ending chairs. The roses were a deep red, the color you see in a painting, making this seem like a painting , just a thing that is stuck.

          My concentration was broken when I heard guests -or so I thought- coming in. My head snapped up and looks at the door, when two men came in, struggling with his casket. They didn't say a word they only placed the casket on a black stand then the skinner balder one of the two spoke.

           "You must be Nicole-" The man said, I nodded my head. My eyes still stuck on the casket. Which must of seemed rude but I didn't particularly cared.

            " Ma'am I need to know, if its open or closed." He said looking hard at me, waiting for an answer. I paused and thought for a minute, and then I spoke.

             "Open. " I managed to say in a whisper holding back a sob.

             "Yes ms." The short fat man said tipping his hat. The taller man moved back in the hall as the short one fixed Gerard's casket . "So sorry for your loss." He said and left the room as well.  After both men left it we just Gerard and I left in the room. I walked over, I then saw him, and his pasty white skin and closed eyes. Never again would I see his hazel green eyes. Tears swelled up around my eyes, never again would he speak to me in the morning looking down on me as he woke me up.

             His hands were folded on his lap, and that's when I broke. I though that when it first happened that, that would be the worst part. No this is much, much worse. Seeing him cold, dead, a shell of what he really was; a funny, smart, talented husband, friend, and father. This is the worst part.

            The door opened again, and in came Alicia, Ray, Frank, Zach, Hailey, and Bob. Zach ran towards me and held me close as we fell to the ground. He rubbed my back and whispered calming words. He kissed my forehead and rocked with me in his arms. Finally Frank came over and sat on the ground as well.

          "Baby doll you'll be okay." He said placing his hand on my back . comforting himself more then he did me.  I shook his hand off of me.

           " Listen to yourself Frank! He is gone and never coming back! Can't you understand that ? " I screamed fighting off the feeling of drowning I my own sobs.

          "I know ! I know!" Frank yelled dropping his hands from my back and placing it on his face. "He was my best fucking friend! He's gone and I don't know what to do!" He dropped his hands again he raised the sleeves from his jacket, reveling a arm full of tattoos.

         " I've been crying. " Bandit whispered, walking towards us.

       "Oh, baby doll." I say motioning with my hands for her to come over. She looked at the ground and walked towards me, plopping down on my lap. I rubbed her braided hair , and cried along with her.

      

        "Nicole? " She said calming herself down.

        "Yes bumble bee? " I said patting down the few hairs that  stood up.

       "Whats  Laney going to do ?"

       "What do you mean?" I say reaching over to the side table and grabbing a tissue. I dab at the running mascara.