Person Of Interest. [GoodGuyFitz]

Dog-Eat-Dog.(15)

Posting a bit early to say thank you guys so much for 1k reads. ❤

I grabbed my favorite pillow and held it tightly in my arms. I squeezed. I cried. I screamed and punched my pillow.

But nothing took my emotional pain away.

~

Ignoring people seems easy. But things get a little more uneasy when five men are actively trying to get a hold of you for six hours straight. Ryan sent me multiple reassuring texts saying Katy would be fine, and kept reiterating the time I was supposed to be at the warehouse. Both Toby and Matt kept offering to take me out for lunch out of pity, and Mason kept sending me questionable emojis.

Cam sent me multiple texts asking if we could talk, and if he could give me a ride to the warehouse tonight. Periodically, he'd knock on my front door or tap on my bedroom window. I watched him from my security cameras. The way his head would hang in defeat after me not answering made me feel bad. Almost guilty. But then I'd remind myself he's the reason I don't have a best friend anymore and the guilt would fade away.

Everyone gave up on getting a hold of me around eight pm and its been radio silence since then. Which I did thoroughly enjoy. The non-stop notifications and calls gave me a headache. Ryan had programmed the phones to not turn off and they didn't have an option to make the volume any quieter or louder.

I understand why Cam did what he did. He doesn't need to explain it to me and there's nothing to talk about. Cam has an oath to Ryan and his mates to keep what they do a secret. I need to respect that as well if I want to keep doing what I do. If I wasn't so terrified of life after death I more than likely would be dead by now. I gotta do what I gotta do to keep my head above water.

Acting like nothing happened will be difficult, but I'm determined to make it work. When I go to the meeting tonight things will go back to the way they were. I'll obey orders and do what I'm told to do. If they bring it up- which is well beyond expected- I'll shrug it off and act like it's okay. Doing that would and should get them off of my ass and put their minds at ease.

This new-found toughness seems so weird to me. Everything is just getting... Weird. Two weeks ago I would have coward at the thought of being in a room full of strangers and now I'm driving to a meeting to discuss dealing cocaine in the trust of seven lads I hardly know.

I assume it's my fight or flight that came to play when Cam told me about his mates wanting to either have a discussion with me or kill me. I could have run away right then and there but I didn't. Why? Cam would have easily caught me. He's six foot something and I'm five foot two. Besides, I doubt he would've given me the time needed to run far enough away.

But I chose to fight. I fought for my life and I'm not going to give that up for Katy. I love Katy. I love her so much, she had been a great friend when needed and me not being able to tell her why I'm going M.I.A is tearing me apart. But it's a dog-eat-dog world and after the Harry situation I'm not going to put myself or anyone else in a position where I or them could get killed.

~

As ten o'clock rolled around I pulled up to the warehouse by myself for the first time. Multiple cars, including Cams, lined up outside of the building. I slammed my door shut and fiddle with my keys as I made my way up the non-existent path towards the building. I shoved any hint of nervousness or anger into the back of my head and walked into the building with confidence that I had previously lacked.

"Good evening Void," Ryan greeted me as I sat in the only available seat between Jay and Cam. I ignored Cams worried glances and stared straight ahead of me towards Ryan, "I wasn't sure if we'd see you tonight."