Only you

Mason

My eyes were focused on the road the whole time I was hurrying to get back home her tiny body shook she was
Soaking from head to toe , I watched her the full night dance with josh I was angry at her and then as I didn't want to I couldn't take my eyes off her she looked happy and thag hurt me more josh made her happy
Then she flipped josh was holding her face and she pushed passed him I was immediately going Straight after her before kade grabbed Lucas away from Courtney and well that was a shit storm Courtney was screaming for him to stop as he punched Lucas face he was drunk and he mad and when kade was mad there was no reasoning with him I managed fo pull him off
Lucas but the the fucker was strong he was so caught up in his rage he didn't notice it was me pulling him he drew back to punch me before I grabbed him and shouted his name the blank stare was off his face and I knew he had came back to reality josh grabbed him away I looked around and I couldn't see her ,my heart was in my throat she was gone
I never thoght I'd be asking josh but he knew her the most apart from Who was too drunk to even manage a sentence
"Where is she ?!"
" I know her Better than you , you don't understand let me handle this you handle your fucking brother " josh went to storm pass me before I grabbed him , Courtney flung herself in the middle
" Just stop!" She screamed
" mason find her , it's the song and him you fucking bastard " she longed forward to Ryan
" I don't mean to I didn't think she would be here come on court I was
Fucked up back then I couldn't think straight " he looked to the floor
" you made her life hell!! You let her believe it was her fault! He hurt all of that night not just you Ryan ! We all felt it we all loved him but you made it your mission to make her feel like she had done it " she pushed at his shoulders josh pulled her back tears were streaming down her face before she grabbed me
" please mason find her " she started crying again
I took off the Last time I saw her she was heading down by the other end of the beach , it went down onto a a little river my head was spinning she was drunk and upset it was so dark out , what if she fell what if she was hurt
I ran as fast as I could screaming her name until I saw her just sitting there lifeless , she was right in the middle of the tide I ran to her the ice cold water hit me but I kept running I called
Out her name but it's like she want there, there was nothing it was almost as if she was in a trance
Glancing at her now her eyes were
Still vacant I pulled outside the garage and flew to her she didn't fight me I picked her tiny went body up I unlocked the door carrying her up the stairs to my room
"Mason" she whimpered her eyes were full of tear her lips we're a tinge of blue i didn't know how long she had been in the water for it felt
Like hours not being able to find her I her body was covered in goosebumps she shivered I slowly stood her up unzipping the back of her dress the silk bow was tied at the back I carefully undid it and peeled off her wet dress her long blonde hair was wet at the bottom the water had was high enough if I hadn't of got there in time what If she passed out I closed
My eyes at the thought as if sensing my pain her cold fingertips touched my cheek
" I'm sorry for worrying you I really am" tears spilled down her beautiful sad face
I couldn't speak to her just yet i was mad at her , I carried her to my bathroom she clung to me for dear life her thighs wrapping tightly around my body i I flicked the shower on and let it run for a few seconds she needed warmth I kicked my shoes and brought her into the shower with me I slid against the wall and held her on my lap i watched as the warm water trickeld down her beautiful body i was too frantic to notice her pink lace bra it was now wet under the water and her lace thong was the same I sucked in a deep breath what was wrong with me was clearly hurting and I was still turned on by her beautiful body i put my head between her chest she cradled me there stroking my hair back as the water bounced off our bodies
" don't ever do that again " My voice was harsh and i heard her wince
" I won't" she whispered
I pulled her closer I felt her tiny body start to shake
" mason I don't know what happened one minute I was watching the waves the next you were there " she sobbed harder
" I'm so sorry"
I held on to her I was scared letting her go i looked up at her blue eyes what was this girl doing to me if this was anyone else I would be running for the hills but I had to know what it was that made
Her go off like that what did Ryan have to do with any of this
I stared at her I wiped away her tears I kissed her cheek I wanted to take her right there and then and never let go I wanted her so bad that it didn't make sense I didn't care how long I had known her for I didn't care I needed her
We sat there for a while the steam filled the bathroom her lips were back to the full plump selves , she even looked cute with her panda eyes the black eye makeup was running down her face but I was still captivated by her I wiped her eyes again
She smiled and it made my heart feel a bit lighter I switched the shower off my jeans were stuck to me but at least they hid how much I wanted her going in with just my pants and then feel of her on me would have been too much
I grabbed her a towel and wrapped it around her she walked out I quickly through off my clothes and wrapped a towel round my waist  ,the  massive lilac towels well Margaret was right the would come in handy one day I fucking  hated the colour she would laugh and tell me it was for a girl
I said it would have more chances of getting a girl back if I didn't have lavender lilac what ever the fuck it was Towels I turned my head giving her she wrapped herself back up tighter she went to head to the bathroom I gave her a look  and before she could do or say anything else I scooped her up into my arms and lay her on the bed
" tell me what happened tonight"
Her chest rose up and down rapidly
" I can't you won't look at me
The same as you do now" her bottom lip trembled
" Allison please" I closed my eyes
" okay she whispered"
I sat upright against my headboard I pulled her into my lap her towel fell this time was I trying my damn fucking hardest not look at her nipples showing through the wet lace
"Because of me someone Is dead " she blurted out
" I killed someone"
Before I could speak she held her hand up
" please let me finish"
" I had been crazy in love with my neighbor Brandon" she winced saying his name out loud must of been hard her hands immediately flew to the locket she always played with
" I always thought he was so cool and hansome I was only fifteen he was seventeen he could drive and all the girls were like in love with him and one day he just asked me out I couldn't believe it out of all the girls me " she smiled but it didn't quiet reach her eyes
She would never understand how beautiful she was.
" anyways we dated on and off for nearly a year I really loved him , " she
Stopped as more tears fell hearing her say that botherd me and I knew it was fucking selfish thing to think but It did
" well I thought i did anyways we broke up a couple of times he was always doing drugs and hanging around the wrong crowds it wasn't until I found him one day his eyes were rolling back I was so scared mason but I was naive I was only fifteen and in my eyes I was in love he got straight for a while and things were good but he would always fall back into old habits it was the week before my sixteenth birthday I was mad at him for months and months we had been arguing about getting him clean and I was beginning to lose all hope till he went to his older brother out in Florida and he helped him he was gone for a couple weeks and he looked so much better healthier things were going great and then we went to Ryan's party I couldn't get in anywhere else neither could Courtney josh and Brandon were really tight we all live I mean we all lived in the same street" she stopped taking for a moment and looked at me I didn't ask her what she just moved closer to me then continued
" anyways I was ready to go and tell him that I was ready to ya know" her face blushed pink I couldn't help the anger inside me rising
" but when I walked in he was in the bathroom" her voice broke
" he was in there with this tall red headed girl and was so so skinny and beautiful and I wondered why she was there I questioned him about it he said it was nothing to worry about , but then things got bad "
" it's okay you can tell me " pulled her chin up
" I flushed the pills down the toilet plus the  bag of  cocaine when I first walked in there was three lines I watched him do one I felt sick so pushed the rest into the sink
He didn't like that and we got into a fight this one was different from the other it was bad I told him I was leaving for good this time and honestly I really did mean it I was done he sobbed and begged he would change " she cried her body began to shake
" and then , then oh god I can't do this
" hey it's okay you can talk to me "I rubbed at her tanned flat stomach trailing my fingers back and forward her chest was rising up and down
"his arms had track marks I didn't know it had gotten to the stage of heroin but I was young and stupid"
" seems to me you weren't stupid st all you got out of a bad situation " I slowly stroked her tears away
" no that's were your wrong i should never have left him there he got mad then after I flushed all the drugs away he started frantically emptying ryans bathroom cabinet he found what he was looking for more coke he begged me do it with him just one line but I refused he didn't want to have sex with me but he wanted me to by high! I couldn't understand him I felt disgusted his eyes where blood shot he kept rubbing at nose next
Thing I remember he through me into Ryan's mirrored cabinet it hit my head that's why I have this here"
She pointed to the Crescent moon shaped scare just above her hairline it had faded well but you could see how deep the would had been
" and this she lifted her hair up and showed me a scar down the back of her neck " anger boiled inside of me
When I hit my head I didn't realise
How hard he had thrown me there was shards of glass all over the floor he held a long shard to my neck screaming I do a line with him I was so scared mason , he then saw the blood and freaked out I knew he didn't mean to hurt me he would never do that but I didn't realise how hard he had thrown me I had been drinking and I wasn't steady on my feet my fully body just gave away when he hit me the against the big cabinet I sunk down in pain and held my head there I didn't realise the shards cut my kneck it's strange I didn't feel it the time , he eventually realised what he had done " she stopped crying and a blank stare came over her face her eyes looked empty just like when she was sitting in the water
" and that's when he said he was sorry he grabbed me and held me begging me to stay with him that he would get straight and mean it this time I said no again I
He kept screaming back that I couldn't leave
I called him pathetic and I suppose I goaded him I knew he was high and drunk but I just
Kept screaming no at him and he he slapped me " she burst out crying again he isn't like that mason he would never hurt me like that
He said he would kill himself if I let I left him I told him to go ahead do it I was over and done with this , I said to him your making a pretty good job doing that yourself go ahead as shooot up " she broke down
"It's my fault it's all my fault"
"Ally that's not your fault you didn't kill him and you can't make yourself believe that you deserved to be hurt like that no matter if he was high or not " I held her tightly but she shook her head
"No mason he needed me I knew it I knew he was struggling I knew how bad he was and how the drugs took over him but I still ran out that bathroom leaving him there! Later that night he played
Whiskey lullaby my favourite song and he took a some drugs
And he shot himself in the head I don't rember much of that
Night I just remember running out that bathroom
No it couldn't be
"What was his last name?
"Summers? She questioned me
" ally do you remember bumping into anybody when you left the bathroom ?
" yeah I screamed and screamed for help but no one came someone knocked I think I can't really remember everything happened so fast when I ran out I hit some guy he asked if I was okay and then he....
"No it can't be"
" it's was ,it was me Ally i didn't know him I knew off him I was only there looking for kade he was at some party raising hell as usual I went door to door trying to find and I was checking around for him that's where I've seen you before "
"Oh my god " she breathed out
" Alison look at me no matter what you said that night or what you didn't say , you never put that gun to his head he was messed up and in a bad place and like you said he had threatened so many times before how were you to know he was actually going to act on it , it's not your fault look at me "
Her tear stained face looked up at me
" I'll never forget his mom screams she blamed me I can't get her screams
Out my head mason" she whimpered
" I don't sleep , I've been to doctors they've tried me on sleeping pills after it happend it helped a little and now I still have nightmares of him but but " she Broke down sobbing
" what tell me"
" when I'm with you I don't have them nightmares anymore I sleep when I'm with you and I don't even know you  "
" what's wrong with me mason?" She sobbed again
" I swear I just sat beside the waves and I had a flashback and then you where there"
" look at me there is nothing wrong with you , you got out a bad situation and I think your going through Some PTSD"
" so you think I'm crazy?"
" no I think you need to talk to someone about it , have you ever ? What about your dad and mom?
" my dad didn't like him at all he was sad with everything that went on but I felt like he saw it as my way out he never really approved his dad and mine were best friends before he took off and left them we spent every weekend with him and his mom We grew up together my dad thought I would probably just end up with him no matter what he did the more he pushed at me to stop seeing him the harder I fought back"