Two Secret Diaries || Hyunin

4.

Hyunjin

" I think I should write it down. I've got a secret. A very big secret. I don't think I've ever wrote it down.

I'm gay. 

Yep, that's my big secret. I've always been. I've never told anyone. 

My mom knows it, I think she always knew, I'm her son after all. We never talked about it but she has always loved me the same way.

I never really had love stories. I had crushes but that's all. Actually I'm too busy to even think about it. 

I hope no one will open this journal to read these lines. The other members like fooling around and teasing each other but they will never invade private spaces. I'm really thankful for that and that's why I dared writting it down for once in my life.

And me being gay doesn't mean I can't be friends with guys! On the contrary! I love teasing them back especially the maknae.

I love cute things. Seungmin and Changbin are also absotlutely cute. I can't stop clinging to them. 

I know I'm a touchy person and everyone doesn't like that but it's my way to show people I love them. And it's a way to comfort me, I feel more at ease and comfortable when I hug friends.

And thankfully they kinda like it. Well the maknae not too much but everyone is constantly teasing him so I understand.  These days he's becoming rebellious. It's cute! Uwu!

Oh, and I think that the manager knows that I'm not straight. And maybe at JYP too. I don't know how but they kinda know these things on idols. 

But they never talked to me about it. Maybe they thought if they don't mention it then it doesn't exist? I'm just clingy and the fans like it? I don't know what their thought process was but I'm here so I guess it's okay. 

I'm being careful though. I know the risks and how more dangerous it is to be gay when I'm an idol. But I don't care, I'm happy with my members now and that's the only thing that counts!"

Hyunjin feels sleepy and wants to cuddle somebody so he naturally walks to a familiar room.

Knock! Knock!

- Yeah? answers Jeongin. Hyunjin pushes the door open to find a laying Jeongin playing on his phone.

- Can I sleep with you Innie? Please?

- Why? Go back! Jeongin says while Hyunjin approaches him.

- Please! Please! Please! the dancer insists.

- 'kay!... answers relucantly the maknae.

- Woohoo! Hyunjin doesn't hold back his joy over Jeongin's answer and immediatly lands on the younger and crushes him in a tight hug.

- Hyung!... whines Jeongin. Hyujin grins at him before shuffling to a more comfortable position for the younger. 

The older lays his head on the maknae's chest while his arms hold his waist. Jeongin begins to play with Hyunjin's dangling earrings, while the later sighs in contentment. They both drift to sleep holding each other comfortably.