Two Secret Diaries || Hyunin

13.

I.N

"My mood is so uplifted these days. I feel way better since Hyunjin's apology.

I still have this weird feeling in my stomach but it kinda makes me feel even better, if that makes sense? I don't know and I don't really care, actually.

Today I had to attend classes at SOPA when the other members had a day off. How unfair! But they all went to practise anyways. Ha!

Hyunjin had to go at SOPA too so we sent together. On the way to school he was excitingly telling me a story that happened to one of his classmates when he grabbed my hand to emphazise what he was telling me.

And he didn't let go of it after that. It made me feel weird again but I couldn't help liking his hand holding mine.

I can't recall the story he was telling me, I could only focus on the fact that we were holding hands the entire walk to the school.

And later that day I kept thinking about it. But then I realized: is it normal to keep thinking about a friend holding your hand? Isn't it what... lovers do?

But then again, we're just friends and he's a boy! What am I even thinking? I guess Seungmin's teasing got to my brain and made it go bersek.

But even with this excuse, it kept bothering me the whole day. I can't get the feeling of Hyunjin's hand holding mine out of my head.

And when we ate together at the dorm this night (we were alone since the others ate at the dance studio), I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was so embarrassed by all these thoughts spinning in my head.

And he noticed I was flustered. Even without knowing why, he came to me and hugged me tight. It made me even more embarrassed but at the same time comforted me.

He held me for a long time and I could smell his familiar soothing scent. He doesn't wear cologne at all so it's only the smell of the softner we use for our clothes mixed with his body scent.

Is it weird to notice your friends scent? And to like smelling it? Okay, I'm stopping there, I feel too weird about all this."

The maknae closes his journal abruptly, embarrassed about what he just wrote. He can't stop thinking how weird he is to be writing such things. 

But he also feels good when recalling the memory of his hyung's acts. And remembering his hyung's... scent made him feel a good kind of weird. Even if he is suddenly feeling hot.

Jeongin goes to open the window to have some fresh air and chase away his thoughts, not wanting to think about anything anymore.

He then feels a pair of arms snaking around his waist from behind and the younger doesn't react because he knows perfectly well to whom these arms belong.

Hyunjin lays his chin on the maknae's shoulder while tightening his grip around the younger. They stay a moment like this without uttering a word, contempt with each other's presence and the night breeze gently caressing their faces.