Two Secret Diaries || Hyunin

12.

Hyunjin

"It is going to hurt. But I have no choice. I can't hide from Jeongin anymore. All I can do is hide my feelings and suffer in silence.

Suffer because what I feel cannot be reciprocated, shouldn't be reciprocated. And I feel myself  falling more and more for him every passing day.

It does feel nicer to not restrain to be around him when there's no cameras, but I still have to act as if I don't like him more than the others.

When cuddling the cute maknae, I'm often overwhelmed by his sweetness and I have to keep myself so hard from kissing him on the spot!

In what mess did I get myself in? Seriously, falling for one of my members? Couldn't my heart fall for anybody else? I'm left pitying myself for such bad luck. 

And at the same time, how can I not like Jeongin? He's nice, sweet, talented and the cutest human alive! God knows I've got a soft spot for cute things.

And he's so funny to tease and play with, we are on the same wavelength. I also know that behind his cute and fun side is a more mature and sexy side hiding, waiting to be released.

I can sense he's still holding back because he lacks a bit of the confidence he needs to release this side but it's slowly coming out. 

I love when he acts out and confidently teases back. But he still gets embarrassed pretty easily. I swear Jeongin blushing will be the death of me. I always squeal like a fanboy on the inside.

And there's something weird happening to me lately. I blush way too often. I say it's weird because it did not happen before, even when I was in the same room as Jeongin.

But now I get shy around him and have to act like I'm not having trouble with my heart: it becomes all mushy and melting whenever the maknae is anywhere near me.

I realized how good of an actor I am but I'm not sure it's a good thing? Like everytime our eyes meet I feel bolts of electricity in my stomach and immediatly break the eye contact because I can't take it and it might become obvious to others that someting is happening.

At least the fans won't notice and there won't be rumors if I continue to act. They know I'm a cuddly human so it's okay as long as I cuddle the other members too.

But when there's no cameras I do cuddle the maknae a bit more. I guess he's a bit surprised by that because it's the opposite of what I was doing before. But I can tell he likes it."

This night the dancer decides to treat the younger to a fastfood dinner. The maknae is used to have his meals paid by his loving hyungs but this night is a bit special as it's only the two of them, the others having work to do or practice to finish.

Jeongin is a bit embarrassed to sit face to face with Hyunjin, usually they are at least three of the members when they eat out. But Hyunjin makes him feel at ease by joking around and even improvising an aegyo relay, which of course the older looses against the cutest younger.

All in all, they spend a great time together and later when they come home they are found in their bed with a big smile plastered on their face that won't go away.