Two Secret Diaries || Hyunin

7.

I.N

"Today we had a TV show and it was quite nerve-wracking but it went well in the end. Everyone did pretty good and we were able to bring our good energy through out the games and questions.

After the show, me and the members ate together in a joyful atmosphere. But then, I was asking to taste Hyunjin's ramen and something weird happened: he refused. 

He laughed it off but it kinda irked me. I always ask to taste members' food and nobody refuses it usually, except when I do it to tease them. But I was not teasing him. 

I brushed it off on the moment but then later, when we were training for our dance in the afternoon and I asked him to show me the moves again he just ignored me!

That's so not like him. It confused me a lot and it somehow... hurt me. I guess he's tired or has something on his mind or something but it's not a reason to pass his nerves on the members!

But then it hit me. Maybe I did something. Maybe it's my fault, I did something wrong without knowing and now he's mad at me and makes me pay my mistake. Oh no!

But what did I even do? I can't recall anything that could have made him this way. This is hurting my brain. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm just hoping he'll forget and talk to me again tomorrow.

I did notice lately that Hyunin was a bit distant but then again, this morning at the TV recording he was fine. I don't know, maybe I'm taking this too much at heart.

I simply don't like when people are not comfortable with me. I guess everyone feels this way anyway."

Hyunjin had to avoid the maknae again at diner so he sat at the table's far end. It really broke his heart to act like that but he had to do it.

When he saw the hint of hurt in Jeongin's eyes at the dance studio earlier when he purposely ignored him, Hyunjin felt like utter shit. He felt so bad to do this.

It was never his intention to hurt the later but what could he do? He had to stick to his plan of forgetting whatever feelings he had for the younger.

He could only hope the maknae will get used to this and once the feelings will disapear completely, they can come back to being good friends.

Hyunjin hopes very hard that it will come true. Even if his heart clenches in his chest. Even if he feels like crying. He knows he's a crybaby anyways so it's not important, his brain tries to convince him.

But when Jeongin goes to his shared room alone after being silent during the whole meal, Hyunjin asks himself how long he will be able to not do anything.

And thinking he could have accompanied the younger right now and cuddled him all night if he wasn't feeling those damn sparks in his tummy hurts him even more than what he expected.