Brother || ✓

CHAPTER 30

Jennie's P.O.V.

Three weeks...

It's been three weeks. And Due to busy schedules, Jimin and I can't meet with each other. We just message and video call in our free times.

He'd be so sweet and all.

While Taehyung, he tries to escape and visit Jisoo in his free time. Luckily, he doesn't get caught and scolded by his managers, lucky he is.

Did I just talk about him?

Why do I feel like the more I have Jimin the more he is closer with me? It feels so tiring and suffocating when he is the reason I want to forget him.

But the feeling in my heart stays still.

Every single day he'd ask if I am fine, and how I am doing and he adds Jisoo into it. He makes sure I complete a whole meal for the whole day. Well, Jimin does those things but it somehow feels different when it's him.

My heart hammers so loud without even realizing it. It does with Jimin, but it's different. With Jimin, I feel like I am above the clouds but with him, it's like my feet are steady on ground and I feel safe, with him or without him.

Maybe I still love him. Maybe I don't. But I know deep inside there is still this feeling for him. But I don't know what it's called.. it's just there. I don't know how long, when, how..

If there is something he might be telling me, I feel sorry but I think its too late. I have Jimin now, What else should I think about?

Jimin, why do I feel like I am playing with your heart?

I don't know what to do anymore...

I decided to call Yoongi. I scrolled on my contacts and saw his name,

Yoongles...

Message | Call | Video Call

I tap the first option and decided to message him first before I call

"Yoongi, are you

free to talk? "

"Yes.

~Yoongles"

Everytime I ask a simple question he just give a cool simple answer. In Fact he is Yoongi..

Incoming call

Yoongles...

Answer | Decline

I clicked the first option and heard his voice from the other line.

"Jennie? What's it you want to talk about??"

I fix myself in a comfortable position, lunging myself over the couch.

"Uh. I just want to express my thoughts. Since you knew all of these, if you are willing, I need you to listen to me. " I wait for his answer, wishing he'll be fine. "Of course Jennie. Now speak, I'll listen..."

I breathe heavily before I start, "I feel so confused. There's him who I want to forget, and him I want to start over with. He became my friend, while he became my lover. But I don't know if I can handle being his friend, and for the other, I want the other to not leave my side. But I know I still have a feeling inside me, but I want him to stay away. While I know the other will be hurt, but I want him to stay with me. I feel so pathetic, and sick. All I want is to be happy and free, but I end up hurting others. Even if they don't know, I know I hurt them. I couldn't feel sorry, I don't feel happy. It's irritating me. It's annoying. I don't even know what he did, but I want to forget him. While he, I don't want him to get him hurt, but the more he stays, the more he'll be hurt. And There's these questions that always wander in my mind.." I stopped catching for breath.

Why do I have to feel like this? Why is the world so mad at me?

What did I even do?

Why can't I be happy?

"Do I love you? And Do I love you? I know the answers, but if I continue to love him, how about the other one, and the other question.. I love you, but differently. You make me feel butterflies on my stomach, make me feel so loved. My heart skips a beat when I am with you, but I .... I..... I think I still love him. And maybe that's why I can't love you. Because you're different, Different from him.

I'm sorry.." I left the phone on hold, and I broke into tears..

Why must I feel this miserable?

How long should my life go on like this... How long..

I wiped my tears away and went back with Yoongi.

"Sorry, for bothering you. "

"It's fine Jennie. I am here to listen to you. To everything you feel. If you feel it's wrong, make it right. If you have to let go on one thing, you must before everything is too late. You live your life making people happy while you're unfine. That's not fine Jennie. This time, it's your turn to be happy. "

I'll ask for a few days to hear myself more. After, I'll do what I must...

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