24. ℜ𝔢𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔞 | ❝ Calm before the Storm ❞
What am I doing?
My heart is racing in my chest and I've already changed my outfit, like, five times. Five. I've never changed my outfit more than twice—and I've only had to change my outfit from nerves just one time.
But I was shaking in nerves so much that I could've been mistaken for a fish out of water. I felt like a fish out of water. This was out of my comfort zone. I'd only done this but one other time and even then, it wasn't with someone I loved.
And I was so in love with him that it hurt. I couldn't breathe and I thought I'd trigger a change in the middle of a panic attack.
Why am I like this?
I kept staring at myself in the full-length mirror on my closet doors. I kept smoothing out the shirt I was wearing, pulling the denim of my skinny jeans from the skin of my thigh as if I didn't like the look.
I didn't.
I felt all wrong, like it wasn't good enough. And I wanted it to be perfect. It might not have been anything fancy, but damnit, this was Derek and I just...I wanted to be perfect.
Could I even live up to Paige? He loved her. I was never pretty enough.
I felt tears spring to my eyes and I closed them, taking a deep breath so I could fight them back. I know Paige would want us to be happy and if we were happy together, she'd be thrilled for us; no matter their past.
But a small underlying part of me felt like the world's worst best friend because I fell in love with her first love.
There was a knock on my bedroom door and I weakly called out for the person to come in. My dad opened the bedroom door and he smiled when he took a look at me.
"Sarah, you look beautiful," he beamed.
I smiled back nervously, looking down at the outfit I felt was too plain. "Are you sure? I...I feel like it's not perfect."
My dad chuckled and walked over to me. He took my hands and sat down on the bed, pulling me to sit down next to him. "It's more than perfect, honey," he assured me.
My smile didn't look so nervous but I still felt it. My hands were still enclosed in my dad's but I could see them shaking. "I've never felt so...nervous."
Dad chuckled and he shrugged slightly. "I get it. It happens," he assured me. "When I was getting ready for my first date with your mom..." I looked over at him to see a soft but happy smile on his face. "I thought I was going to throw up." I giggled. "We had been friends for a while, she and I, and I didn't want to ruin anything."
I nodded my head, looking back down at my shaking hands. "Yeah, I...I don't want to ruin anything either," I whispered.
"You won't," Dad assured me. I let out a heavy breath and he added, "He probably will though." I couldn't help but laugh, but he wasn't done yet, "Just remember that I have a badge and a gun if he hurts you."
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Reptilia ⊰ 𝐝. 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞 ᴮᴼᴼᴷ²
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