Forever And Ever.

26

Im not going to bore you with what went on at Lyla's because I'll bore myself typing it all out. A typical day went like this; wake up, piss, eat breakfast and take meds, play with eliza, take dog out, come back, eat lunch, watch tv, play with eliza, eat dinner, take meds, put eliza to bed, walk dog, come back, watch more tv, have a snack and phone Noel or Guigs if he isnt around, take sleeping pills, relax until they kick in, fall asleep, repeat.

So today was the day, Eliza's first birthday, also the first time we get to drive the merc long distance. So we shoved eliza in the front with me, for some reason unbeknownst to me, they had insisted on bringing the dog. So matilda sat in the back on Paul and Lyla's laps.
"This is a nice car" Lyla says "very nice".

"I know thats why we're driving it, roof up or down?" I ask, placing my sunglasses on.

"Up please, we'll get sunburn".

"Should yer really be drivin' Rkid?" Paul asks me nervously from the back.

"Well my meds dont say otherwise and... I miss driving. Might aswell get some in before my liscense expires" I smile "gum anyone?".

"Nah thanks" they both reply at the same time so I put the radio on and set out on the road.
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We got up to manchester at about 1pm. It was weird being back. Lyla took the dog and the nappy bag in,I carried Eliza in my arms. "You ready for your party?" I ask her "we're gonna have some fun, eat cake and open lots of presents".

"Yeah" she shouts right in my ear.

"Right yer enthusiastic" I mutter and we walk up the path, paul was behind me with our bags.

We open the door and are greeted by a "SURPRISE" and party poppers going off on us from the family, my mum and alan are here too. Eliza has a face of shock and I was so sure she was gonna cry but instead she just smiled. She had this cute baby pink frock with a bow on and a little denim jacket, white tights and shiny baby pink mary jane shoes with white buttons on the straps. A pink bow was in her light brown hair. She looked adorable.
A familliar dark haired girl came rushing through the crowd of people. I couldnt not recognise those eyes, blue like my mother's. She toddles up to me and hugs my legs. I was surprised she even knew who I was.
"Aunty Jessie" she smiles "up?". I pass Eliza over to Noel, who had been standing near me the whole time, without even a hello and I pick up the child hanging onto my leg.

"Jeez, yer got big aint you? What are you now? Three?" I ask.

"Almost" siobhan replies for me "two months time she'll be three".

"She looks so much like my mother" I reply "dont you, Paigey?". I tap her nose playfully. She giggles.

"Can we play?" She asks.

"Maybe a bit later, ive got to put you down now, play with eliza. Be nice though as she's small". I put her down and hug siobhan, promising her a catch up session later that will probably never happen. There was so many people to get to. But first my husband.

I found him in what used to be pauls room, sitting on the bed with a tea and looking sorry for him self. I dont know what happened in that ten minute exchange between me and soibhan that caused him to have a literal crisis but he looked awful.
"Noel?" I get his attention from the doorway, he looks up at me, he looks like hes been crying "you alright? I havent heard from you in a week". He had stopped phoning me and it was always guigs who picked up when I phoned him.

"Yeah" he wipes his eyes with his hoodie sleeve. "Yeah i'm fine".

I walk in and close the door "you sure? You dont look it" I reply and sit next to him.