Forever And Ever.

35

I writ Noel a note as Liam moved the last of the boxes into the van he had managed to procure off Guigsy of all people. We just didnt tell him about Oasis just yet and acted Like we were just taking some stuff to the scrap yard. He said to bring the van back tomorrow.
I cried as I wrote the note.
'Noel,
I'm so sorry for the stupid things I have done in the past and I know it is so hard to believe but the things written in that paper arent true. There is no affair and there never has been since 1995, I ended it because I loved you, I really really fucking loved you. I still do. But if you want me gone, well thats your choice. I know you need the space and I'll give you it. But I wont wait forever, I cant wait for you to make up your mind as to weather you believe your wife or some tabloid fairytale. Look after Benson and Hedges for me, you could do with the company.
I love you. I always will, forever and ever and to the moon and back.
Please dont do this to me.
- Jessica'.

I left the note on the kitchen table and looked to Liam, who was stood in the doorway with the dog on her lead waiting. I couldnt leave her behind, she was all I had left of when things were good. "Ready?" Liam asks sadly.

"Yeah let me just get something" I reply and leave the pen next to the paper. Liam takes the dog out the house to put her in the van. I go into the hallway and pick up the two photos there. The one I hung up not even three days ago of noel and I at that party and the other one of us playing with eliza in the snow at chirstmas. I took them out of the frames and put them in my bag, not really knowing what to do with the frames, I placed them back on the wall and left the house.
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I looked at liam once we got onto the motorway. He had the dog at his feet, somehow comfortably asleep on a cusion in that small space infront of the front passenger seat in a car. Except this was a van and it was the only passenger seat.
"D...do yer think thats it?" I ask.

"Think whats it?".

"Oasis. That its just over like that. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am and its gone?".

"Nah dont be silly. Give him a couple weeks and he'll be begging for it back. Why'd you think we didnt tell Guis" he chuckles "your marriage though. That might be fucked but lets be real it was doomed from the day we reunited in yer mam's café in 1994".

"I cant help but feel things could have gone better than that" I reply "he really overreacted and what about Vi? Have yer spoken to her yet?".

He shakes his head "nah, keeps ringing three or four times and then going to fuckin' voicemail, so she's refusing to answer it in purpose. Fuckin' bitch".

"Its a shame" I mutter and we both go quiet.
Some time later we pull up outside Liam's old flat in manchester, the one he lived in with Patsy. I didnt even know he still had it to be honest, I'm sure he said they sold it. "Didnt you sell this place?" I ask.

"Nah, I told Violet I did, but ive been coming back here pretty regular" he explains as we open the front door and start moving boxes in.
The last thing to get in, all the boxes were just piled up in the diningroom he never used anyway, was the dog bed which went into the livingroom. We both sat on the sofa after all of that and sighed simultaneously. Then it happened, It started as a feeling that I tried to get rid of, then I couldnt control it. I burst out into hysterical tears. My fuckin' life was falling apart infront of me.

"Hey hey, dont do that" liam says putting his arms around me "its ok, its all gonna be ok".

"I'm so sorry Li, I cant help but feel like I caused this shit" I sniffle "Noel and I have been arguing for months about all sorts of shit. Mainly Elizabeth".

"What about Elizabeth?".

"I want her back, I want her back so bad. He signed her away without my permission when I was ill, saying I'm an unfit mother. But I'm starting to think it was because he never wanted her in the first place, he just wanted Oasis and I ruined it by having a baby. Curse it all".