Outsiders Preferences, Imagines And Headcannons

Don't Give Up

TW: Self Harm. What panic attacks are like for me...? If that's a trigger...or maybe a tic...

Brook was walking from school to her house. Johnny, Pony, Curly and Ian were at the movies and Brook was left alone.

She walked out the school doors and before she could react, some guy ran into her. "Oh, sor-" the guy turned around but stopped. Tristan Mills, he hated her since he moved here. "Ew! Retarted fag! Go away! No one wants you hear! You just annoy and bother everyone."

Her mind wanted to walk away, but her mouth said different. "Why don't you just shut the fuck up and crawl back to the hell hole you came from!"

He then raised his hand up in a sharp speed and Brook squealed and fell to the ground, trying not to get hit. Tristan laughed with his friends, his horrible...ugly... disgusting laugh. "Go fuck a cow. Gay whore." He said and she got up and walked away.

When she left she continued home, her hip slightly hurting from hitting the hard ground wrong.

Can you fall on the ground right??? She thought to herself.

She got home and ignored Darry, she went to her room and locked it.

She threw her bag and sat on her bed and that's when it all crashed. The wall she had built up ever since she was 9, all that progress. It came crashing down, Tristan's words were like the wrecking ball that crashed it...

She laced her hands together behind her neck and she brought her face to her knees and she breathed hard and fast. She felt like someone was trapping her under sand.

She punched her thighs with her fists. "Yeah. You're annoying! Damnit Brook! Understand that! You're a gay whore! Look what you did!" She yelled to herself.

She stopped for a moment to cry and her eyes landed on her drawer. She promised Ian she wouldn't ever open it and use what was inside of it. But she couldn't anymore.

She opened it and grabbed the razor- with shakily hands. She slid it across her wrist and she bit her lip from the pain she missed. She let her tears fall onto the now bleeding cut, which only made it sting.

Stupid
Gay
Whore
Annoying
Fag
Bother

Every word she cut...then she did it again.

She wanted more pain. Then it clicked...click...click...push...dead...gunpowder...click...push...dead...

She looked at her closed closet doors and remembered the gun she had in there. She got off her bed and quietly rummaged throught her closet, not caring that everything scraped her new cuts.

"Brook? Brook open the door." Darry knocked and tried turing the knob. Brook didn't say anything, she was silent. "Brook? Brook come on."

Brook was too busy setting up her gun and it made a click. Darry's heart stopped and he pounded on the door. "Brook! Open the damn door!"

She didn't listen. She couldn't. The tears were running down her face, her arm was smothered in blood, her razor on her dresser that was sure to leave dried blood there tomorrow. But she wouldn't be there to see it, she would be dead.

Brook chuckled softly, she didn't know why...but she did. Darry stopped yelling for her to open the door, so she felt the need to continued and not regret it.

She wasn't meant to be here. She wasn't meant to be with Ian, she wasn't meant to be anyone's friend, she was meant to leave. Everyone would be better off, ya know.

Suicide notes would be too cruel. So she just wrote one for everyone.

I couldn't anymore. I'm sorry. You're better off without me, go forget about me and this room and I'll meet you on the other side.

Short and bitchy...just like her...

She slowly put the gun up to her head and didn't pull the trigger yet. She stared at the rusted golden colored door knob and thought for a moment.

What if they just hate me...if I survived and they hated me...

You won't survive.

She knew she should stop herself, but she had to go. She jumped when the front door slammed shut and there was running footsteps and soon her door was being banged on again.

"Brook! Doll, don't do it!" She knew who that was...she tried to ignore it, she knew she would give in. "Please babe! I can't lose you!"

Brook shook her head and the gun clicked again. "Don't! Don't do it." He banged on her door again. "I swear to God I will break down this door!" He promised.

She stared at the door breathlessly, before putting down the gun and opening the door.

Ian pulled her in for a hug and he didn't let go. He couldn't. Brook hugged back and cried and cried. Ian lifted her in their hug and she wrapped her legs around his torso and continued to cry.

Ian stroked her hair. "Scared me half to death..." He whispered to her.

"I'm sorry." She said in the strongest way she could, which wasn't much.

"Why?! Don't be! You shouldn't ever be sorry!" Ian assured her. He brought her over to the bed and looked at her arms, covered in tainted red and puffy cuts. "Hunny..." He said before he quickly ran and grabbed the kit.

He came back in and she was hugging her knees to her chest. Hating herself for what she just did.

She was slowly falling asleep from all the crying and uneven breathing so Ian took that time to clean her arm and wrap them until he could do more when she woke up.

He went next to her and he brought her to his lap and he comforted her until she fell asleep.

Hi...100 chapters...yay!