Guilty || E.V.

epilogue

'homewrecker'

because in the end, it doesn't matter where, or when
against a wall, in the hallway
outside your daughter's bedroom
at three in the morning -
she could have coughed and asked for water.
your face in my cheek, saying
"i liked yours best"
i'm shaking because i'm nervous because
i want you, and the consequences (everything)
and she has no right
to make you stay, eddie.

a while back, my lovely friend rearviewgarden wrote this poem and sent it to me, and it's still one of the greatest things i have ever received. lovely, thank you so so much for this, i'm still in absolute shock and i love it so so much.

* this part takes place a little bit in the future, i didn't want to specify exactly how much time had passed since the last chapter but just imagine that a substantial amount of time has gone by and this is months since the day Eddie found out he got complete custody of Sophia.

♡

Saturdays were my favorite. neither Eddie nor i had to work, and Sophia didn't have school, meaning we had the whole day to do whatever we pleased without worrying about getting up early the next morning.

but, particularly, this Saturday was Sophia's birthday, something i'd been pretending to forget every time she or Eddie mentioned it, but it had been engrained in my mind since the moment i'd first learned it.

after constant reminders, i'd allowed Eddie to get to the point of pure frustration with me when he'd said the night before, "don't forget Sophia's birthday tomorrow," and i replied, "fuck, that's tomorrow?"

but i knew.

we'd finally found a house, a small two-story just outside of town with enough property that we couldn't see our neighbors through the trees around us. it wasn't my dream home, by any means, but i'd loved it since i laid eyes on it and knew it had to be ours. it had a kitchen, two living rooms and three bedrooms up top, leaving one mostly empty for storage.

or, a baby someday. who knows.

being the unused room, no one really spent much time in it, therefore it was the perfect place for me to hide Sophia's presents, decorations, and the cake i'd gotten the day before on my way home from work.

thankfully, Eddie was fast asleep, and i was able to climb out of bed almost silently without bothering him. i tiptoed to the unused room, flicking on the light and beginning to wrap presents as quietly as i could.

i had them wrapped, bagged, and Sophia's name written on them in no time, and as i stood to leave the room, the door handle turned and my heart stopped.

it swung open, and Eddie stood there, confused and squinting at me.

i let out the breath i was holding. "you scared the fuck out of me."

"sorry." he rubbed his eyes. "what, uh...what are you doing?"

i looked at the pile of wrapped clothes and toys and decorations around me. "it's Sophia's birthday."