prove it - j.g

chapter fifty six: "pretty little head"

epilogue. yes or no?

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vanessa thomas

let me talk about love real quick. give me a second to express myself. tonight was a night that i can't wait to think back on while wearing a huge smile. love isn't something you should settle for. definitely in the type of world we live in today, the word 'love' is used loosely. when somebody expresses their love or says the three words that used to be taunting and scary, it is used without its proper meaning. leaving it to be just another word in our vocabulary. you should know your worth. and if you don't, find your worth. you are worth so much more than being cheated on, being hurt time and time again, or feeling as if all you are doing is living to please your significant other.

jack was laying down on the hotel bed as i laid wide awake thinking. that's all i could do at this point was think. our future and my future. once i get out of college, what was i going to do? i have absolutely no idea what type of business i want to go into. i mean, i have ideas but will they become my reality? what's going to happen with jack and i? realistically, i want to go back to omaha. does he want that though? i don't know. were we going to get married, have kids, and grow old together? i want children, of course i do. if i could, i'd have four kids. who knows if that's what jack wants though. does he even want kids? wow, im overthinking.

and i know, oh boy do i know, jack and jack will not want to be separated. if johnson stays in los angeles, we will probably stay in la. if johnson moves back to omaha, we probably will too.

my eyes remained open, blinking as my mind continued to race. i sighed, lifting my hands up to run them down my face.

i was suddenly pulled closer to jack's chest, "why aren't you asleep?"

his raspy voice replayed in my ears. what was i supposed to answer with? i let out a small sigh, "can't sleep."

with my back to his chest, he moves his hand from my waist to my abdomen and caressed his thumb in soothing circles, "talk to me, baby. what's going through that pretty little head of yours? what's keeping you awake?"

"loads. i don't want to–"

he cuts me off with a response to exactly what i was going to say, "you're not going to bother me. you staying awake, unable to sleep, will bother me more. now tell me, what's on your mind?"

i turn around in his grasp, "will you get mad at me?"

he shakes his head and leans up to turn on the bedside light, "no. if you cheated or something, then maybe. but if it's nothing like that, then no. of course not."

"a lot is on my mind. our future and my future are the two main subjects, jack. im scared of the future and how it's going to turn out. where will we be? will we be married with kids or not together? will you be touring while im at home with kids? where will i be working?" i let it all out, a long sigh following.

i can tell he's shocked and taking time with processing my words. though, he handled it well, "we're going to be together no matter what. remember what you said? im like your home, wherever i am, you feel safe with me. wherever we are, im sure we will be happily married with kids. and about your career, johnson had a pretty cool idea for you."

my eyebrows pull together, "what was it?"

"you become our manager."

my eyes widen, "me? managing for jack and jack?"

he nods, "it's not definite, but it's an option. you could get hired and work for a record label, then you could sign us. you could manage us. and, with your business smarts and our experience, we'd be able to lead you and help you."

"i don't know, jack. that's, uh, what's the word... terrifying, isn't it?" i ask, really emphasizing 'terrifying'.

"listen, baby. you are one of the most talented, smart, beautiful, and driven girls out there. you can do anything you put your mind to, which is something i find sexy about you. as i said, it's an option. johnson and i think it would be cool, but it's totally up to you" he assures me, pecking my forehead with a small smile.

i nod, "thanks for listening to me, babe."

he smiles, "nothing compared to you surprising me today. go to sleep now, you need rest."

snuggling back into his side as the room becomes dark once again, i fall asleep with a much clearer mind.