Amnesia

Chapter 8

A couple of days had passed since the party. 

Dr Hughs and I had gone to the hospital, with a scan and a few other tests they concluded that I was fine. But I didn't feel fine, I felt broken. Shattered into pieces and stabbed with the shards of glass. The bandage was off and I was given some cream for the tiny scar left in its place.

I wandered around the house most nights, refusing to sleep. If I did I was scared of the nightmares I would get. I was scared to shut my eyes and be devoured by the sound of his voice, his cold touch, and his blank eyes. Every now and again I would hear it, my shrieking voice. I'd cover my ears and scream to drown it out, but it never worked. Sammy tried to comfort me but I wouldn't dare tell him. He thought it was my amnesia getting worse. Dr Hughs showed up a few times but saw nothing wrong. 

Every night I would take Sammy to bed, tuck him in, give him a big hug and then go back downstairs only to pace around in thought. I felt used. After touching me in places I didn't want to be touched, Max had passed out before it could lead to more. 

Eventually, I would go back upstairs and into bed where I would stare blankly into the ceiling. My dress and underwear were still on the floor; I didn't touch or look at them. I wanted to burn them, no washing machine could ever get rid of the blood and dirt off them. While trying to escape Max's death grip I had fallen and cut my thigh on something sharp on his floor. With sudden tears escaping my sorrowed eyes, I covered my mouth not wanting Sammy to hear. I sobbed quietly, my throat burned from the restraint. 

After a while, I got up and went to Sammy's room. He was sound asleep and looked so peaceful. I got in beside him and pulled him close, I stroked his hair and watched the little angel sleep. What seemed like forever, my eyelids dropped and I was welcomed by the dark.

"Lana." My eyes flickered open and the blurry figure before me revealed Sammy who was already up and dressed. He smiled brightly and urged me to get up. I stretched my arms out as I yawned then pulled myself up. Like a good little boy, he quickly made his bed, perfectly rested the pillows up and then skipped downstairs. It still amazed me just how mature he was for his age, some could learn from him. 

I felt too weak and tired to change so I went downstairs in my PJs. Sammy was already in the kitchen prepping breakfast. He gestured to the food, asking if I wanted any but I shook my head. I barely ate and when I did I felt sick. His smile fell but he didn't ask any questions. I watched him munch on his food. Silence filled the air; it didn't feel daunting but rather just a comfortable silence. 

"Are you not going to school today?" He suddenly asked, catching me off guard. 

"Um, no Sammy." I sent him a weak smile and watched him clear the table. I walked him out onto the porch and gave him a big hug. He ran off down the path as I waved at him. Once he was out of sight I went back inside and sunk to the floor. My back was up against the door and I pulled my knees up to my chest where I rested my head and softly cried. The emotions ate away at me and the voice in my head called me powerless and pathetic. I couldn't stop it, I begged but the voice was furious: you wanted it, you asked for it. No, no, I didn't. I covered my ears and shook my head vigorously. You went into his room willingly. A piercing shriek escaped my lips, trying to drown out the voices. 

"Lana!" What was that? I got up hesitantly and peeked through the little hole on the door but no one was there. "Lana!" My head thumped in pain and I realized the voice came from within me. Black spots filled my vision and soon enough my legs numbed and I fell, my body banged hard against the floor. 

"You will NOT believe who just walked in!" Sapphire yelled over the blasting music. It was a party but not at Max's, this was Sapphire's house.