Amnesia

Chapter 9

The air was heavy. 

I choked on my words as I struggled to speak. 

I slid off the bed and took small steps towards him, his face held mixed emotions, both sadness, and horror. I could tell a million thoughts were crossing his mind, coming up with theories that probably weren't true. 

"Show me." He demanded, his voice low but his bottom lip trembled and I knew he was scared on the inside. For the time I had known him I hadn't seen him so scared. Or maybe I had? 

I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached for his hands. He pulled back. 

"Daniel." I croaked out. He shook his head slowly and spoke again with a lighter tone. 

"Where are you hurt?" He asked. I blinked confused and looked up into his eyes. I thought he had put the pieces together but instead had gotten the wrong end of the stick. Maybe I should lie and say I fell at the party. "Did HE do it?" he pushed further. In that second I wanted to scream 'YES' but I didn't. I couldn't. Even if I did tell him, even if I did...it wouldn't change anything. I would still be broken. Nothing would fix that. I couldn't be mended. I reached for his hands again and this time he didn't pull back. I breathed in deeply and came up with the best excuse I had. 

"It's nothing, okay? I'm fine, aren't I? Just a bit of an accident." I reassured and forced a small smile on my face. He scoffed. 

"You really think I believe that?" He gripped my hands and pulled me up against him, "I'll ask one last time. What happened?" His eyes bore into mine but I held my ground. Don't give in Lana. It wouldn't end well if you told him. 

"Nothing happened, it was an accident." My voice a hoarse whisper. I was terrified but I wasn't going to let him see it. I released his hands and hid them behind my back, they were shaking uncontrollably. 

"If you don't tell me, I'll go find out for myself." He stormed out of the room and down the stairs. I ran after him, panicking. 

"Daniel, please!" I yelled out as I pulled on his arm but he didn't stop. Right before reaching the door I blocked his path and looked him dead in the eye. "If you ever loved me you'd stop." The words struck him deeply, he winced as if I had just stabbed him in the heart and twisted the knife. 

"Question is, do you love me?" He shot back, his eyes burning with fire. I blinked wide-eyed, stunned at the sudden question. "Because it was never clear Lana. Not now, not back then. So don't you dare say that if you don't feel the same way." He spat out, not taking a second to inhale. I was at a loss for words. He shook his head in disappointment and sidestepped me. 

"Goodbye, Lana." Those were the last words I heard from him, he dragged his feet down the path and didn't look back. My eyes watered, I wanted to run after him but my feet were glued to the floor. I didn't know what I felt for him. I only knew what the old Lana felt for him. She did love him, that was obvious. But how could I? To him, I was the same person but to me, he was just a stranger. A stranger I had gotten close with, someone that was willing to help, someone that the old Lana actually trusted. 

Did my only lead and clue just abandon me?

Hours went by and Sammy had returned home. He seemed exhausted and waved 2 pieces of paper in front of my face. I set down the cup of coffee I was having and took it off him. 

"What's this?" I asked before reading it. 

"My grades." He huffed sadly. 

Maths: A.

English: A.

Science: B. 

Geography: C.

History: A.

Music: C

Drama: B.

Art: D. 

I glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. Before I even had the chance to speak Sammy started whining. 

"Ms Flanninghan just hates me. It's not my fault I can't draw, I'm not going to be an artist when I grow up." I smiled softly and patted the seat next to me. He dropped down on the couch and slouched. 

"It's not the end of the world Sammy, you're young. You've got plenty of time to improve." He sat upright and crossed his arms. 

"Easy for you to say, you were great, especially in Art." He pouted and snatched the papers. Mumbling to himself he went upstairs and got started on his homework which was to draw a self-portrait. 

I decided to give him his space for a while and resumed to finishing my coffee. After watching a bit of TV and washing up the dishes I decided to go and check up on the kid. I knocked on the open door and waited for his permission before walking in. He nodded and gave me a weak smile. There was a crippled piece of paper on the floor and a few on his desk. I peeked over his shoulder and saw a round shape with 2 dots and a line for a mouth. He looked up with sad puppy dog eyes. 

"I can't do it." 

"Want me to help after dinner?" He nodded eagerly and ditched his work faster than you can say 'Art'. We headed downstairs and he helped me cook. After eating and talking more about his day at school we headed back up where we spent the next two hours trying to draw Sammy's face. 

"I haven't seen Daniel in a while," Sammy said randomly as I was drawing his lashes. I paused halfway and glanced at him. 

"Why do you say that Sammy?" I gulped and resumed drawing. 

"You've never had a friend over before and...it was fun. You looked happy, I think?" He watched me as if waiting for me to confirm that I indeed was happy. 

"Yes it was fun, but he won't be back for a while." Daniel's words echoed throughout my head, he wouldn't be back for a long time. 

"Why?" I set the pencil down and faced him. 

"You know, you're meant to be drawing this." I pointed at the half-drawn portrait which was well detailed but not detailed enough for Ms Flanninghan to be suspicious of. Sammy rolled his eyes and picked up the pencil, without another word he finished off the drawing, using the tips I gave him. I smiled like a proud mother as I watched him focus intently.  Once he was done he brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. I tucked him in and kissed his forehead before leaving the room. 

"Goodnight Sammy," I whispered as I shut the door. He had instantly dozed off into dreamland. 

Once again another night had befallen. I paced and paced, cleaned and even picked out a book to read from the shelves. It was big and thick. I laid down on the couch and read, by the fifth chapter, I too fell asleep and entered dreamland but it was filled with terror and demons. The book in my hand slipped to the floor and the pages flipped over to the last page which read: 

My dearest love, if it were meant to be we would have ended this journey together. But you aren't here holding my hand. Like wandering souls we will find one another again, I'll search for you every day. Even if you've changed, I'll still love you. In this life and the next....and maybe in the one after that too.