Polyamorous

The Fever

It just happened out of the blue no warning. One day she started noticing things that she didn't notice or wasn't paying attention to before. It was just something suddenly there. She all of a sudden had that feeling and these urges. At first, she thought nothing of it the feeling was just a feeling and it would fade or it wasn't real it was all temporary. The after being married for a while feels she thought it was. But then she realized what the feeling really was and that it wasn't temporary, it was very real, and wasn't going to fade anytime soon.

She had ........ Baby Fever.

It was like she all of a sudden had a baby scanner. She was able to any and all children in a crowd she was able to spot those families and those soon to be mothers. She envied those soon to be mothers with their swollen bellies and carefree smiles. A few of them had lovers on their arms and hands on their bellies. And One day she finally said it.

"I want a baby"

She was out to lunch with Natasha and Pepper when she finally said it out loud. Pepper was mid-chew and Natasha was drinking they both choked. (y/n) hands both shocked woman napkins letting them clean and save themselves.

"you know when to drop a bomb don't you," Natasha said still coughing a bit.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just .... I want that" (y/n) looked out the window a mother passing by holding the hands of her two children as they skipped alongside her. " I want to be a mommy, I want to make a tiny human to call mine, I want tiny baby clothes" she reaches across the table and grabs both Natasha and Pepper's hands you guys would be great aunts"

"Oh, you know how to bargain. But you're on your own with this" Natasha laughed.

-

She meant to talk to them about it she really did but she'd start thinking about their babies running around, then her swollen belly, and finally the process of getting to that ... which lead to them going through the process. Basically, every time she tried to sit down and talk to them it would lead to sex. She needed to settle down and get her priorities straight.

"Okay, this time I actually want to talk" (y/n) said as she pushed Steve away creating some distance between them. If she let him continue kissing up her neck then she'd forget about the talk. She felt an arm wrap around her waist and lifted her up now she was straddling Bucky's lap and this was very distracting. He brought a beer to his lips and he put a hand on her hips as he smirked, he knew actually what he was doing to her and he was doing it on purpose.

"what's up doll?"

She liked this, Bucky being dominant he was always in charge in the bedroom or when they did anything sexual that was Bucky's domain, he was top and in control. While Steve dominated everything else in their life and was in charge of everything outside the bedroom. That was probably why he complained about taking care of children half the time but he was never truly upset with it. Plus it was kind of what they all needed back then Bucky uses to lead every part of their relationship but after Hydra, he wasn't the same anymore and -OFF TOPIC.

We'll come back to that.

(y/n) shook her head as she escaped her head. Clearing her throat she fidgeted with her figures in her lap. Damn, why was she nervous all of a sudden. She took a deep breath and placed both her hands on his chest.

"I-I want something. Something big"

"We can give you something big " Steve leaned forward kissing her jaw.

"No, no this is s-serious this is important. Please-please, listen" They took notice on how her voice crack she was hundred percent serious and nervous too. She needs them to listen.

"Of course doll" Steve moved her to his lap " we're all ears".

"I know we've never discussed this at least not in full detail from what I remember. I've been feeling like this for a while and I've really really wanted this but if you two aren't okay with this then we don't have to, maybe we can get something to replace the feeling. Doggy or kitty. But I really hope you want this too because I really want this and isn't this one of the reasons we got married to do this. I'd like to have this but not alone I'd like the two of you with me. I think we'd all be amazing at this especially together... I just want to know if you'd be okay or would like to. If you don't that's okay and I'm sorry for even-"

"Sweetheart, what is it? you still haven't told us what it is you want." Steve chuckled she was going on a long rant. If they let her go they would have been here for about two hours before she let it slip what she truly wanted. She looked down at her hands taking a deep breath, eyes closed.

"I... I want to have a baby" she doesn't open her eyes too scared to see their reactions. She didn't want to see their shock and/or rejection. She felt hands cup her face and lips gentle kiss her cheeks. She slowly opened her eyes looking up at Steve.

"(Y/n)... I'd love to have children with you." a grin spread across her face matching the one on his. She showered him in kisses as he laughed. In this mist of their kisses, she turned to Bucky. He wasn't smiling but looking off in the distance he was a bit pale.

"Bucky" she called him that seemed to stamp him out of his trance but he still looked ill. "Bucky, baby. are you okay?"

He looked down at his left arm at his metal arm " I can't, I can't I - I'll ...." Bucky took a deep breath as he clenched and unclenched his fist. He couldn't have a child. Children were soft, fragile, and in need of constant care and attention something Bucky himself was in constant needed of. How was he supposed to give a living creature the same thing he needed. What if he had an episode with the child around, what if he hurt the child or scared them by accident. There were so many things that could possibly go wrong in the presences of a child and he just didn't want to risk it.

"I'm sorry I don't think I can -"

"You don't know unless you try-" Steve tried to say but Bucky cut him off shaking his head and standing up.

"I don't want to try. I don't want to risk it"

"But why? could you at least tell us why?" (Y/n) stood up and started following him into the kitchen. She felt like she deserved some type of explanation as to why he didn't want a child with her. Even if she already knew, or assumed, what he was going to say she least wanted to hear it. She pesters him as she followed him into the kitchen he tried to ignore her but it was hard. Steve followed behind her making sure she was okay and she wouldn't go too far.

"I'M SCARED, I'M FUCKING SCARED. I CAN'T HAVE A COULD WITH THIS" He motioned to his metal arm and waved it around " I'M A WALKING DISASTER. I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN HELL I CAN'T TAKE OF MYSELF. THE THOUGHT OF EVEN BEING NEAR A INFANT FUCKING TERRIFIES ME....it's...it's not that I don't want children it's just the thought of what I could possibly do to them scares me...I'm sorry" (Y/n) smiled reaching up and taking his face in her hands.

"That's okay. I wasn't really expecting us to jump in the sack and getting straight to the baby making. I just thought it was something we could discuss and talk about for the future. Nothing has to happen right now. Don't worry nothing will happen right now" Standing on her toes she kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, I just, I don't think I'm ready for any of that right now. " Steve places his hand on his shoulder.

"Bucky, it's alright. No one is asking anything of you. We want you to keep an open mind for discussion. That's all pal"

"I... I can do that"