Tony heard of what happened to the three of them and gave them a couple of weeks off, they only took a couple of days. He said they could take but they didn't they all needed to put their minds elsewhere and work was the perfect distraction. The only people who knew of the situation were their family, the Avengers. They went back to work like everything was normal but people noticed something. More specifically the Avengers noticed.
Bucky was hitting agents harder than normal when training sending a couple of them to the infirmary. Steve wasn't focused on his paperwork staring off instead it was taking twice as long to get done. (Y/n) would stop in the middle of her work and place her hand on her stomach and just rub her stomach as if there was something there. At first, no one said anything but after a few days, they couldn't keep quiet.
"Yo, Bucky can I talk to you for a second," Clint said interrupting his training with agents he would have told him off but Natasha as by his side and he actually looked serious. He dismissed his trainees.
"What's up is there a mission?" Bucky asked as he followed them out and into a nearby office.
"Alright, talk," Clint said closing the door behind them. He looked at the two confused.
"In the last three days, you've sent at least 15 to agents to the infirmary. Want to tell us why?"
"No" he goes to leave but Natasha places a hand on his chest and pushes him back until he's leaning on the desk. " What do you want me to say? What do you want to hear?"
"Either the entire Bee Movie script or the true" Clint said
"Give me a couple of days and you'll get the script" he tried to leave but Natasha glared at him he through his hands up in surrender and smirked but only a little. " I've been sterilized by Hydra I can't have kids. But I've already imagined them I've thought and I've planned in my head I was I am ready for kids I was prepared. And now I've learned that it's all in my head and it's not going anywhere and Hydra took that just like they've taken everything else. Now I'm sitting here wondering what else have they taken for me that I don't know of, yet. What dreams have they snatched before I've dreamed them, yet? What else don't I have?... Clint"
"Yeah"
"I want what you have. I don't know if I'll ever get that now because Hydra stepped up and took it and I don't even remember. I try, I try with everything to remember but I can't. I don't know when they took it and that's scary."
"You're angry and sad you're bottling it up and taking it out on the agents." Natasha said as she sat next to him "listen, I've been through something similar. I get how you feel. Someone has taken something from you that you didn't even know was important to you until it was. It hurts, it hurts so bad and you don't know what to do with yourself."
"As relieving as it is to punch out your feelings. Hurting others who have done nothing to you isn't the answer. Maybe you should sit down and talk to Steve and (y/n) about these feelings. Emotions. Or get an addiction Tony could help you get into alcoholism. " Natasha and Bucky both chose to ignore that last comment.
"I've already talked to them now I just have these emotions that are still here" Bucky cringed he couldn't really explain himself using words it was hard to explain.
"That means that there is still something wrong," Clint said as he laid down on the couch one would have thought this was his therapy session.
"... I guess I'm not good with words. I told them but I'm still- I'm still angry event though I've talked about it. I guess I haven't got it all out and too top it off a lot of memories have been coming back and not the good kind."
"How do you usually handle your emotions?" Natasha asked
"Long night of sex and even longer pillow talk. When your in a bliss exhaustions of the aftermath of pleasure it's much easier to tell the truth and let it all out you don't think anymore just talk. It was always easier... it's probably why we have so much sex because we know there is an amazing and meaning full talks afterwards hell 30 minutes of sex can lead to two hours of conversation."
"Okay, sex equals pillow talk. So go have sex." Clint said he flinched as Natasha raised her hand to hit him. Bucky rolled his eyes.
"what shall I do bend both of them over a table fuck them silly then make them talk to me. Sorry but I don't think that's going to work. Especially with what's happened and how we were going at it before I don't think any of us are ready to go back to having sex, yet."
-
Steve had been staring at the same paper, the same sentence, the exact same word, for the twenty minutes. His pencil hadn't moved in the last 30 minutes and Sam had been watching him for an hour.
"You want to talk about it or are you going to keep staring at that paper." Sam said tapping his desk
"I'm working"
"no you're staring at a paper"
"What do you want to talk about Sam?"
"what do you want to talk about?"
"I don't want to talk about anything. I want to finish my work" Steve said dropping his pen and finally looking up. " There is nothing to talk about here. Everything has been handled now it's just time and healing"
"So how long have you been chanting that in your head? Who told you that?"
"The doctor. She said we could try something else in the future it might be harder and longer but it would be worth in the end."
"again your reciting what the doctor told you"
Steve took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose " I guess I am because her words are all I'm thinking about. I guess I'm hanging on to them."
"But are they making things better are they giving you hope."
"I don't think so ... I guess her words don't help they make me nervous and anxious. I imagine how many times will we have to go through this before we actually have one. Before we actually start a family How long will it be how many heartbreaks will we have. Just thinking about it brings the pain back even though it has never left." he sat back and sighed he took another deep breath. He sat up taking his pen again and went back to his paperwork. " I can't think about all of that right now. I can't think of this. I need to get this work done and take care of them."
"Whose going to take care of you?"
"They've been taking care of me all my life it's time I repaid the favor"
"But you shouldn't neglect yourself while doing so. Maybe you should sit down and talk to them about this how you're feeling. Bottling it up isn't the right way to go about this Steve"
"I know. When they want to talk about it some more I'll talk about it. Right now, I will do what I can that is wait, work, and care for. Now excuse me I'm going to get back to work"
"Alright," Sam said as he stood up. Steve was so stubborn but at least he talked some sense into him even if it wasn't much. Talking was always a good thinking even if you only talked a little bit. " I'm here if you guys need me"
-
(Y/n) was standing up in front of a glass wall rubbing her stomach , as if something was there.
"(y/n)? Sweetheart?" Bruce asked placing a gentle hand on her shoulder
"Sorry. Did you say something?" she looked at him with a small smile.
"No," he said as he looked at her through the window she was still holding her stomach . She quickly moved her hand. "I know the feeling. Missing something you never even had."
"That's not it."
"Then what is?"
"The order is dating, marriage, children, then happy ever after."
"As a wife I'm suppose to be ... I'm suppose to have children I'm suppose to give them kids. Hell, I'm the one who practically begged Bucky for kids knowing damn well he didn't want any. I'm the one who gave him hope." (Y/n) touched her stomach as she began to cry " I'm suppose to give them children, I'm suppose to carry the baby, I'm suppose to do this It's my duty as their wife to give them children."
"Come on, I didn't believe you were stuck in old fashion stereo types. You want to be a house wife next" Tony teased, he didn't realize the conversation was serious until she turned around and screamed at him.
"SHUT UP.... I'm the one who brought up children. I'm the one who asked -no begged for children. Yet, the chances of be having them are little to none. I'm the one asking for this ad I can't even give it."
"Sorry," Tony said " There's other ways to have children. You could adopt or foster-"
"I don't want to adopted I want my baby. I want to watch my belly grow , I want to feel the kicks, and taste the cravings, I want to feel them inside of me. I want them to be mine and only mine. I want to be their one and only mother. No one else .... is that so selfish to ask? For my first child to be mine and only mine."
"no, it's not. It's a very reasonable request. To want to be connected to your first to want them to be yours and only yours with no other connections. It's not selfish or too much. " Bruce said as he pulled her into a tight hug. " Have you talked to Steve and Bucky about this?"
"God no, I can't tell them about this. I've ruined enough already I can't tell them about this."
"You should most definitely talk to them about it"
"And tell them what. How I'm not good enough and they should move on and find someone better so who can actually give them a family and picket white fence with the house and dog and PTA meetings."
"I think you three just need to sit down and have a long meaningful talk about everything that has happened. I have a feeling you guys haven't done that yet" Bruce said as he stroked her hair.
"We've talked"
"But you haven't gotten deep. You guys should get deep" (Y/n) laughed a bit burying her face deeper into his chest
" You know are most deepest conversations happen after or before a long sex session and I don't think I ready for that yet."
"There's a first for everything, sweetheart" Bruce said as he chuckled and kissed her forehead.
YOU ARE READING
Polyamorous
أدب الهواةSteve Rogers x reader x Bucky Barnes Steve and Bucky get into a relationship with a childhood friend. It was an unnatural relationship it was something people of their time had never seen nor accepted. But they did it anyway because they were insep...
