Silence | Book 1

1-3: Conversation

"I'm Tristan..." Tristan said softly, trying to smile back, only for a few itchy coughs to commit mutiny on his voice. He buried himself in his elbow, until the coughing fit passed by again. "Sorry." He added rather sheepishly, trying to avoid Hibiki's gaze. Until he realised that was impossible: he couldn't read Hibiki's written reply, nor see his reactions if he didn't look.
The latter had lifted his hands at the sheepish sorry, telling him it was fine. After a bout of rapid typing, a question followed.

'Are you feeling any better?'
Tristan nodded, attempting another smile, with a bit more success this time around.
"I am, sorry if I caused you any trouble?" Already halfway through the sentence, Hibiki waved away his apologies.

'It's fine, it was good practise for psychology.'
He chuckled to ease the mood: it was a soft, rather restrained sound, but still more than he had done thus far.
"Isn't it difficult, when you're unable to talk?" Tristan asked, wondering how that would work, but Hibiki shook his head and smiled again.

'I don't want to become a therapist, I'm studying law and psychology to go into criminology.'
Proud of his plan, Hibiki grinned widely.
"Should I commit a crime to make it interesting?"
Hibiki's grin turned into a slight chuckle, shaking his head.

'Prison cells are more complicated to get into than bathrooms. But how about we get out of this dirty stall? If you think you can?'
"I'm fine with that." Tristan said, even if he still vividly remembered the bout of dizziness from before. He took a few deep breaths, despite the unpleasant smell, while Hibiki stood up first. He followed a moment after, faring better than he had figured he would.

While he washed his hands and tried his best to use a few paper towels to get the floor dirt and grime off of his suit, Hibiki took off the ridiculous honours robes that he had sat on for that entire time. It left him in black slacks and a white dress shirt, but he appeared relieved if anything. With the robes slung over his shoulder and the phone in his other hand, he typed his next message with one hand.

'So, what are you studying?'
"Politics, mostly, although I'm starting to doubt that choice a bit..." Tristan's voice trailed off again as he was confronted with how his anxiety influenced his future, but he tried to keep his smile up nonetheless.

'Don't, you have a talent for public speaking. Mental ails can be managed, but giving up on your dreams won't help at all, even if it feels really frustrating and difficult at times. I've been through it as well, learning to cope with being unable to speak.'
As a gesture of sameness, Hibiki laid the robes on the sink, using his free hand to point at his mouth, then at Tristan's head to sign it wasn't such a different situation.
"I hope you don't mind if I ask a personal question?" Hibiki waved away Tristan's concerns, making a gesture with his hand as if to hand it to him. "Is your muteness physical? You can laugh, right?"
Hibiki smiled, but then shook his head. He tapped the side of his head and then made a spinning gesture with his finger, to give the quick answer before he typed his reply out.

'It's all "in my head", I can't mentally handle speaking. A lot of doctors and psychologists looked at it, but brain wise there's nothing wrong. It feels a little like someone cut the wires in my mind to the speaking part: it's still all there and perfectly healthy, but the rest of my thoughts won't connect the words to any speech. I can laugh and cry, but I'll never talk. At least, I haven't been able to since I was a young child, so I don't think it will happen again.'
"It happened just like that?"

'More or less, there was one big event that set it in motion, and after that it all went downhill until I couldn't speak. I have to admit, psychology in Japan isn't the best, so it took a while before I got a good doctor that helped me with sign language and writing. Did you ever consider talking to a psychologist?'
It took a few moments before Tristan got his answer, but he waited patiently. At the mention of a psychologist he shook his head.
"I haven't..."