Silence | Book 1

3-11: Ice Cream

The bathroom of the fast food chain they had dove in next was rather cramped, with people passing them by every other minute. Tristan tried his very best to get the green stains out of his pants and jacket with cheap soap and water, but he hadn't much success. Beside him Hibiki had already given up on it, instead he just ran his fingers through his hair to get most of the knots out and tied it back so it wouldn't get so tangled again.

Once he was done, he took the notebook Sam had gifted him from his backpack. He removed the plastic from the package of pens, and took one out. With nothing yet to write he tapped his pen on the top, making a repetitive ticking noise. It made Tristan look up and smile at him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get your phone back."

Immediately Hibiki shook his head, and scribbled a hasty message. He held up the notebook, frowning a bit at Tristan.

'never do that again'

The reply shocked Tristan a little, and for a moment he wasn't sure what to say, falling still. Another scribble of Hibiki was interrupted by a man entering the bathroom and going into one of the free stalls.

"Maybe it's better if we go outside... this is bloody hopeless anyway." Tristan sighed, referring to his suit, as the soap and water did little more than make it wetter. Hibiki nodded, looking down at what he had already written a bit uncertain, but then closing the notebook and putting it back in his bag.

"Are you mad at me?" Tristan asked once they had found a table to sit at. The restaurant was not packed quite yet, but the dinner rush wouldn't be far off. At least the murmur of people talking drowned out anything he would say.

Hibiki shook his head, but set to writing again. Although he tried not to watch, his nerves compelled him to, afraid that he had done something wrong and was about to be chastised for it. Finally he turned the notebook for him to read.

'Don't do something so dangerous again. What if he had beaten you? Or stabbed you? You could have died over a phone. I can buy a new one, but I can't replace you'

Tristan nodded as he read the text, realising well enough that he had done something stupid. With a deep sigh he laid his head in both his hands.

"I'm sorry," he started, genuinely apologetic. "It just came over me? I should have stayed and helped you... if I had known, I wouldn't have done it."

Hibiki smiled sympathetically, and gave his head a slight pat. Although he smiled back, it was rather forced.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" He asked softly, and in his chest he could feel the sense of betrayal scratch at him. "I told you mine... you told me not to hold back any secrets."

Hibiki sighed deeply, realising well enough that Tristan was right. Slowly he wrote, very careful to explain himself.

'The right moment was never there? I was scared that you would judge me, that you would think I'm frail, or crazy. I've had this all my life, and it's been so much better the last few years, I had hoped that if I didn't tell, maybe I could pretend it wasn't there. I don't want to be like this. I don't want you to be afraid that if you just look at me wrong I will break. But I did anyway'

He laid his pen down and pushed the notebook towards Tristan, feeling both frustrated and guilty. While Tristan read, he played with his pen in both hands, trying to focus on it so he wouldn't lose himself in emotions. He heard Tristan sigh heavily, and tap the edge of the notebook with his fingers.

"I understand, you just want to be you, right?"

Hibiki nodded, but didn't look up.

"I don't want you to be afraid either... I want you to know that I'm there for you when you need it. So please trust me?"