So Gabby hasbeen here for a week and she goes home in three days. Rocky is out of the hospital and Madison is still there.
Today I seemed to be zoning out a lot for some reason. Lately I sit in Ross lap when we're all talking that way if I zone out he kisses my neck a few times sending shivers down my spine, letting me know in zoning out again. He has kept me from zoning to much.
We were sitting out by the pool talking an laughing. I was zoning out way to much. Ross finally pulled me around to the side of the house so no one could see us.
"You're zoning out too much I can't just keep kissing you or tickling you! They'll suspect something. I don't know what to do other than let you zone out!" He worriedly stated.
"I'm not completely zoning out! I've made that my goal! If I do I'll hurt you and it'll hurt me. I don't want you to get used to this. I don't want to be doing this." I paused thinking of more to say. "If I do completely zone out let me know. Walk in side, don't talk to me, don't look at me...something to let me know I've got to fix it. Don't let me put you through this!" I said tears welling in my eyes. He pulled me into his chest.
"Shhh! It's ok! I'll try! Ok?" He pushed me shoulder length away looking straight into my eyes for an answer. I nodded yes and kissed him softly before walking back around to join the others. I plastered a smile on face as I continued to talk with my sister and Rydel. I could feel myself zoning out when Ross tried to talk to me but, I wouldn't listen. Trying not to zone out, I focused on Ross swimming. That didn't help because I missed most of the conversation! I finally gave up on trying not to zone out. I heard Ross trying to talk to me, yell at me, get my attention and I realized what he was talking about. Everything he says goes in one ear and out the other! I watched Ross walk inside, head hung low. He stood by the door watching me. I saw his eyes they were red rimmed like he had been crying. I watched him sigh and walk away. A tear streamed down my face. I jumped up as quickly as I could running to the house. Everyone was outside but, Ross so that would make this a while lot easier. I ran through the door and walked slowly through the house finding Ross trudging up the stairs.
"Ross." I whispered hopping he'd hear me. "I did it again didn't I?" I asked tears welling in my eyes. He nodded and sighed.
"I'm sorry." I choked as tears heavily streamed down my face. He ran to my side holding me tight.
"I tried talking to you, yelling at you, everything. You didn't respond." He said.
"I know! I heard it all but, I couldn't answer! I tried! I really did! I'm so sorry!" I cried. He sat down on the stairs, me next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder.
"It's ok." Was all he said holding me close. He kissed my temple and ran his hand along my side making me giggle a little.
"There it is! There's that smile!" He said. I giggled brushing my frizzy dry hair behind my ear.
"I love you. You know that. This isn't gonna make anything different. It's another flaw that in gonna love no matter how much I hate it!" He said.
"I love you too." I giggled. I looked up at him and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry I keep zoning out. I don't know why I am." I said.
"It's ok! Honestly! You wanna go watch Carebears?" He asked. I giggled and nodded.
"Come on!" He said pulling me off the stairs and dragging me to his room, me giggling the while time.
I pulled one of Ross' T-shirts over my bathing suit before crawling into his bed and watching him put the movie in and grab the remote. He crawled into bed next to me and hit play.
