MY DRUG, HIS CURE

Chapter 11.

Breath slowly. Relax your mind. Don't stress. It doesn't have to be awkward. You got this.

These are the words I kept telling myself as I walked towards class. I knew he would be there. I knew I had to see him. It was inevitable. I couldn't control it. I couldn't do anything about it. He may be a dumb ass prick, but he's still my professor, and I couldn't do anything about that fact.

Reminding myself of the reasons I had to steer clear from him, and telling myself that I'm the Boss Queen, I walked into class and headed straight for my desk, without much as a glance towards him. Even though I didn't look at him, I could feel him. I could sense his presence. I could smell his delicious cologne. And I could feel his eyes burning through my back as I walked to sit down.

The second my butt collided with my seat, I turned to look at Lohan, who was giving me a worried expression. I smiled at her warmly as I recalled last night. She had called me yesterday and we spent four hours talking about Martin. I barely had any sleep, when my alarm went off earlier this morning.

"You good?" she asked, with a small smile. "I'm trying to be. Fuck," I groaned as I clenched my fists hard. It was hard trying to be okay. In truth, I wasn't. How was I supposed to be okay? How was I supposed to pretend that everything was alright? How was I supposed to act as if him being engaged to some pretty blonde, wasn't affecting me?

That's right, I couldn't. this wasn't okay. It might be for them, but not for me.

BUT WHY?? WHY DID IT AFFECT ME THIS MUCH?

I never at all cared about any other guy in my life like this. I mean, yeah sure, I've had boyfriends before, and yes I had feelings for some of the twats, but, but...not like this. I have never felt the need to be near somebody the way I feel towards Martin. His looks compel me. His eyes have me under his spell. His whole being consumes me like fire consuming flesh.

Do I...do I like Martin? Do I like my fucking professor?

Somewhere, at the back of my mind I heard my name being called. At first, it sounded distant, but my mind soon registered what was going on, and I suddenly snapped out of my reverie.

"Alexa, would you mind repeating what I just said about today's topic?" I heard a voice say. I inhaled a sharp breath. It was his voice. He was talking to me.

My gaze turned to him, and I saw that he was looking pointedly at me. Waiting for my response. There was an emotion I couldn't read in his eyes, but his facial expression was hard. He was still mad at me.

He cleared his throat, as if gesturing me to answer back. My lips parted to say something, but no words came out. I wasn't listening to him. I had nothing to say.

"I...uh, well-" I began, before someone cut me off.

"You were talking about how sometimes when there's so much pain and suffering and we don't want to deal with the loss and emotional trauma that it brings, we tend to close off. Our minds decide to block out all emotion, in order to cope and ignore it. We choose the easy way out, instead of allowing ourselves the chance to grieve and mourn."

That smart answer came from behind me. It was a guy's voice. That voice was dangerously sweet. Not like Martin's, but it was amazing. Smooth like a cocktail drink, and it resonated deeply around the classroom.

Out of curiosity, I slowly turned around and immediately scolded myself mentally for allowing myself to look so stupid in front of...him. He was stunning. Has he always been in our class? I didn't think so. If he was, I would've noticed him a long time ago. Hell, I would've fucked him on his first day.

What. The. Flap. Is wrong with me? Seriously?

He was smirking at me, his eyes playfully gleaming and when he was sure his eyes were holding mine, he winked.

AAAGGHHHHHHHH. I swear I've never felt that many butterflies in my stomach as they were now. Dammit. I mentally slapped myself for my reaction.

I quickly turned in front and found Martin staring at me, a cold expression on his face. Nothing on his face was charming anymore. Even his eyes, that were normally warm and green, had turned to a cold lime. His face was hard with fury.

Well fuck him.

The bell rang signaling the end of the class. We all filed out of class an d started for the door. I was mentally sending frantic prayers to the stars to allow me to leave class without him calling me. Every step I took was relieving, yet painful. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked, but he never talked. Never said anything. In fact, my heart stopped beating when I heard him giggling with some girls in my class behind me. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MEEE!

NO. It wasn't. You're okay. Just, walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. It took all my will and self-control to keep from turning behind. I wanted to. I wanted to turn around and punch those wanna be Amber Roses. Those dumb pathetic grade E university sluts!

Whoa, relax. It's all good. Just keep walking.

I had reached my locker, and started to replace my books, when I heard that voice. "You owe me." There was a hint of a smile in his voice, which also caused me to smile as well. My back was to him, so he couldn't see me smiling. Giving myself time for the smile to wear off, I put on a smirk and turned to face him.

And I gulped audibly.

If he was stunning before, a few feet away, then he was breathtakingly beautiful up close. Shit, this guy had my down stairs raining hailstones.

"You're crazy." I smiled back. These words caused him to smile even wider, and I almost winced in pain. Not physical pain. Like why the hell did he have to be so stunning. He had amazing grey eyes, that reminded me of the deadly clouds in the sky. His black curly hair hung just over his lashes, making him look like a hot baby. He was built and his muscles seemed to want to rip open his T shirt. And those lips. It was as if they were calling me. Calling me to devour them, and have them play with my-

Whoa, what the fuck. Girl slow down.

"Oh, I can show you crazy," his smooth voice music to my slutty ears. I rolled my eyes playfully. "What do you want?" I asked smirking.

He smirked back. "What I deserve," he smiled tightly. There was a hint of something I couldn't trace in his voice. I folded my arms across my chest and looked at him in amusement.

"And what is this that you deserve?" I asked curiously. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "I still don't know yet, but I will figure it out. All in due time darling." his eyes were gleaming and glowing for someone who had grey eyes.

"I'll see you later," he smirked and turned to leave.

"Wait, you're not even going to tell me your name?" I asked before I could stop myself. He turned around with an even bigger smirk on his face.

Damn him. Him and his sexy smirks.

"All in due time." he stated, then walked away, leaving me feeling embarrassed.

Fuck, I was such a whore.

LET'S PUT THIS TO A VOTE! IS ALEXA A WHORE? LET ME KNOW GUYS, LOL!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE POLLS...YUM. ANYWAAAAYYSSSS, WHO IS LOVIN THIE NEW MAN CANDY LIKE I AM?? WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF HIM? WHO DO YOU SHIP NOW, HIM OR MARTIN? DO YOU GUYS THINK MR. MANCANDY AND ALEXA COULD POSSIBLY...YOU KNOW? HA, LEMME KNOW GUUYYYSS!