MY DRUG, HIS CURE

Chapter 26.

Martin's P.o.v.

And the award for the World's biggest dickhead goes to.........

You know who it is.

I know that what I did was fucked up. I know that it was totally uncalled for and rude on my part. But I just needed some time alone. Listening to Jessica narrate the story of my life...my childhood. My mother. Her death. I just couldn't take it. I needed a breather. So I stormed outside and made myself comfortable in my study. I didn't think she would follow me. I didn't know she would run after me and try and talk to me.

I didn't think she cared.

So when she did walk in, she startled me. No, she frightened me. I wasn't used to this kind of affection. I wasn't used to someone showing me support. Okay now I'm lying.

The real reason why I acted the way I did, was because I was protecting her. I was making her hate me. I was acting like some jock because I wanted her to loathe me. I needed her to. That way, it would be easier for us. That way, she would stay away from me. That way...she would be safe.

I cared about Alexa. Hell, I liked her. Like, really liked her. I had feelings for her. True, deep genuine feelings for her, and it scared me. It scared me because I feared that I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I knew myself. And I knew that once I set my eyes on someone, once I want someone, I always get her. At all costs. And as much as I wanted to keep her safe, which meant that she had to stay away from me, I would be a total liar if I said that I didn't always feel like devouring that sexy body of hers. That I didn't feel like slamming her on my table and doing her all night. That I didn't feel like having her tremble and moan my name under my touch. That I didn't feel like burying my cock deep inside her throat and have her mouth dripping with my cum all over. That I didn't feel like hugging and kissing her every single time I saw her. That I didn't feel like making her mine once and for all and start making beautiful babies with her. Yeah. I would be a fucking liar.

And it also scared me because I knew the outcome. I knew the consequences of falling for someone else. I knew what would happen. I knew that it wouldn't last.

I dug my fingers into my palms as I remembered her words.

"You will never be happy Santiago. No other girl will have you. If it won't be me, then it'll be no-ne. Love another girl, she'll be gone. Love the next, she'll still go away. Love another one, she'll disappear. They'll all...all of them, they will never stay with you. They'll always leave you. Because you're mine."

The door to my study flew open and Jessica walked in and strode to my desk, where she sat on the chair opposite me. Seeing her calmed my rapidly beating heart and slowed down my uneven breathing. But Jessica wasn't oblivious to anything, so she saw right through me and her face curled into a frown.

"Hey, are you okay? You're sweating." She said, as her hands reached across the table and held mine. I let my face break into a small smile and nodded stiffly.

"Yeah I'm good. I'm just...really tired," I replied casually, trying to steer her clear from my distress. She looked at me for a brief moment, then decided that she couldn't win with me. She nodded once, then rested herself back on her chair.

"Alexa's ready. She's waiting for you downstairs and she really wants to leave right now," she stated. My heart seemed to stop beating at the mention of her name. I froze for a second, then quickly recovered and cleared my throat.

"She can leave without me. Just make sure she has security. Pablo will drive her, and three other guys should tail them in case anything happens. If anything fishy happens, the main priority should be to get her the hell out of there."

Jessica nodded again, stood up and surprisingly extended her hand towards me. I looked at her face, then to her hand, then back to her face. I raised my brow at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Her phone." She deadpanned. I blinked in realization. She knew. Damn her! She knew I had Alexa's phone!

"How..." I began, as I fished into my pockets, and took out the black iPhone and handed it over to Jess.

"I saw you take it when it fell from her pockets in the car. I'll take that..." she said as she snatched it from my hand and started to walk away.

"But yo, I'm just saying, you'll wanna see what another guy is gonna be having for himself as his date tonight." She said, smirking at me and I clenched my jaw. She opened the door and disappeared outside.

The bitch. She knew which buttons to press. My fingers shook with anger at the thought of Alexa being in someone else's arms, as his date. Alexa was mine. Maybe she didn't know it, but she was mine. She was no-one else's. I was not going to share her with anyone. Much less to some deranged sex-craved teenage boy who's barely done with college. I didn't really know the details of this 'date', but I honestly didn't care to find out.

I stood up from my seat and started pacing around my study. So many things were running through my mind at that time, and I was having a hard time filtering shit in my head.

I should probably take her. You know, to make sure she's safe.

No. You shouldn't. You should just...mind your own damn business. If she wanted you to take her she would've told you.

But she didn't have to. She doesn't have to ask me to take her. I can make my own decision and decide whether to take her or not.

Save it Batman. She doesn't want you there. You pissed her off earlier so don't blame her when the only person you should be blaming is yourself.

Oh shut the fuck up! You know I'm doing it for her. I'm being considerate.

No, you're just being selfish. Have you ever thought about how she feels? Have you stopped to think the thoughts that are running through her head right now? Dude, she's escaped death by the whisker, twice now. She's almost died. Why? Because of you shithead! And she's still here. She's still with you isn't she? Isn't she right fucking here? In your own fucking house? Have you asked yourself why? Have you asked yourself why she hasn't thrown a fit? Have you asked yourself why she hasn't chosen to completely rid herself of you?

...well, no.

Of course not. Because you're such a dumb fuck Santiago.

Stop calling me that! It's Martin now.

Technically, I'm still you...so you're calling yourself that.

I rolled my eyes. Perfect. Now I was having conversations with myself in my head. Just brilliant.

I had a point though. Well, the other part of me had a point. She'd stayed. Through everything. She never ridiculed me. Never accused me of causing her all this trouble. She never even showed me that she wasn't okay. That she was upset that her life would never be the same again. She was the one that was being considerate. I was just being a selfish prick.

She could've chosen to leave me. To never speak to me to again. To not associate with me again. Yeah she could've dropped my ass instantly.

But...she didn't. Well, in that case...

Fuck it.

Grabbing my jacket that was hanging on my leather seat, I strode across the study and stopped when I reached the half-open door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was doing the right thing. I needed to protect her.

There was that. But there was of course, the idea of Alexa being in some other guy's arms for the night, and me not being there physically to do anything about it. I clenched and unclenched my wrist, exhaled, and slowly walked out of my study.

"Damn," I muttered. "The things I fucking do for you." I breathed, then made my way downstairs.