MY DRUG, HIS CURE

Chapter 20.

Martin's P.o.v.

To say that I was nervous, was an understatement. In truth, I was terrified. How could I not be? How was I supposed to be alright, and perfectly calm when I was about to tell the girl I like that I lied about me being engaged to some girl? A girl that was my sister?! Yes, Jessica was my sister...well, my step-sister.

So yeah, tell me how the hell I wasn't supposed to be freaking the fuck out when I was literally walking to my doom. But I probably deserve it, right? Because I lied? So it was my fault? I brought this upon myself huh? Maybe I did. Maybe it was my fault. But I was doing it for her.

As I led her to my den, I contemplated on ditching this whole thing. I mean, I could avoid this conversation. As much as I sound like such a dick right now, truth is, I had the power. I had control. I had the power to determine where and how the conversation was going to go. I could easily just lie my way out of it, the same way I've cheated throughout my whole life. Yeah, I could do that.

But I didn't. In fact, as I pulled a chair out for her to sit on, I decided that I was going to tell her the truth. That I lied in her face. That as much as it seemed like such a fucked up thing to do, it was for her sake. I liked Alexa. I liked her in ways I never thought I could anyone else. She came to me at a point in my life where I wasn't sure of myself. She came and made me laugh. And made me smile, and flirt and do stuff I never thought I'd ever do again.

"Want a drink?" I asked, as I walked to my bar. She looked thoughtful, then finally decided on a glass of red wine. I gave her the drink and poured myself some brandy before walking to the other side of the table and propping myself on my chair.

I took this moment to study her, like I always do. Her dark brown hair was let down, and flowed freely until her shoulder blades. Her lips, full and pink, were slightly parted as she took sips of her drink. Her round face was perfect and her high cheek-bones brought a contrast to her face. And those eyes. Those hazel brown eyes that always seemed like they were glowing in the sunlight.

"Done gawking?" she joked, as she looked at me though her glass, a smile on her face. Ah, that smile.

"Haha, well if I'm being honest...I've seen better," I joked back. She rolled her eyes playfully and took another sip of her wine. I would give anything to be that glass right now. Damn, having those full lips clasped around my-

Whoa, chill dude.

"So, Marty," she began, emphasizing on the last word, "what's this big bad secret that you're so scared of telling me?"

I ignored the hammering of my heart inside my chest and the sweat that was accumulating in my palms and cleared my throat. "Well," I began, "it really is nothing..."

"What?" she chuckled, cutting me off. "Or is the big, bad and scary Marty all wussy all of a sudden," she winked playfully.

Was it weird that I found that extremely sexy?

Dammit! Focus you little pervert!

"First of all, I am not scared of anything..." I began folding my arms across my chest. I heard her mumble "sure" but I chose to ignore her and instead, focused on my breathing. It was amazing, really, how I was this affected. I was always the calm and calculating one. I always got my shit together. I always had everything under control. My businesses. My employees. My relationships. But most especially, my emotions. I always had my feelings in check. For example, I've never loved any girl before.

Lie.

No it's not.

Yes, it is. Quit lying to yourself.

I'm not.

You are. You loved her.

She wasn't human. She was a monster.

Monster or not, you did love her. And she did you.

I shook my head and cleared my throat. I put down my unfinished drink on my table and focused my eyes on Alexa. I needed to be sober and of right mind for the conversation we were about to have.

"Okay. You wanna know what this secret is? Fine, I'll tell you...but I want you to keep an open mind. What I'm going to tell you will probably make me look bad, but...I-I want you to understand that i...I care about you, alright? I do, and that's why- "

"Hey," she smiled, cutting me off again. If this was anyone else other than her or Jessica, I would probably have slit their wrists. No-one ever cuts me off when I speak. It's a rule. No.

It was law.

"It's okay. I'll listen. Just...spit it out for fuck's sake." She finished. I bit back a smile and cleared my throat...for like, the 1000th time.

I took a deep breath and started, "well, for starters...Jessica is my sister."