Warnings:mentions of torture,brainwashing and abuse,also blood.
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Bucky was definitely a wild card to say the least,he was always kept to himself when he was at the tower but on the battlefield he was totally different he would talk to everyone and have everyone's back especially Steve's so when Steve,Nat,and Tony left on a mission he acted like a lost puppy.He wasn't sure who to follow now that Steve was gone but for some reason he chose me.I had become accustomed to him following me around while trying to make it not to obvious until I had enough of it.Bucky please I said as turned around to find him standing next to me as I poured a cup of coffee,please what he asked as he feigned his innocents causing me to sigh as I sat down at the table.I am sorry he mumbled as he sat across from me,it's just all of all this is new and I really don't know what to do without Steve he said guilt in his eyes,have you always followed Steve like this I asked as I titled my head curiously as he shook his head I was always the one pulling the little punk out of trouble but after he turned into Captain America I just stood in his shadow he said looking up at me threw his shaggy hair.I nodded as I grabbed his hand form across the table I just feel like I have to be by someone incase I snap or I lose it so someone can stop me,I just can't be by myself it's to much he said as I bit my lip.Whats to much I asked as he took as deep breath,you know what forget it he said as he stood up storming away.Bucky wait I yelled as I chased after him as I grabbed a hold of his metal arm as I pulled him into my room,I knew he wasn't trying to resist me because he didn't want to accidentally hurt me.Sit I said as I closed the door as he sat on the bed,you have to talk to someone buck I said as I sat next to him inner lacing our fingers and I promise I will listen no strings attached okay I said as he nodded.Its Hydra I can still hear them in the back of my head telling me to kill and destroy and it scares me that one day I will snap and kill you or Steve he said as his began to breathe faster.Oh Buck I said as I sat on my knees behind him while wrapping my arms around his neck,you have to focus on the good not the bad I said as I buried my face in to his neck.What do you mean he asked as he placed his hand on my arm,stop thinking about who you were when you were held by Hydra that wasn't you,you were brainwashed,abused and tortured no one would have been threw that without doing what they had to do to survive and you did just that I said as he nodded.Your safe and with people who love and care for you so you need to move on and focus on who you are which is a badass super hero who would die protecting his world and everyone on it I said as he looked back at me a small smile on his lip thanks he said as he kissed my check before we heard JARVIS announce that the team was back from there mission,well let's go make sure everyone is still in piece I said as I got up as we made our way to the hanger. *******************************************
I closed my eyes as I laid back sighing contently hoping to get a decent night of sleep before hearing a loud thud agaisnt the wall,I quickly got up before knocking on the door praying that Bucky had just dropped something.The door swung open revealing an empty room but a shattered mirror that had obviously been punched I sighed as I made my way threw the tower looking for him until I heard the water running in the kitchen.I let out a sigh of relief as I saw him hunched over the counter top his hands gripping the edge of it as his knuckles bleed.Bucky I whispered as I ran to him wrapping my arms around his bare back he turned around in my arms as I looked up to see his eyes red and his face tear stained.I am sorry I really am I tried but they wouldn't be quite he said referring to the voices.Hey it's okay I said as I brushed his hair out of his face,you tried and that's a big step okay just let me clean this up okay I said as I grabbed a paper towel damping it before I held his hands gently cleaning his knuckles before grabbing the first aid kit and wrapping his knuckles up.Will you sleep with me he asked blush now covering his face causing me to smile of corse I said as he grabbed on my waist pulling me against him before hesitantly leaning in as he gently kissed me I moaned softly as I ran my fingers threw his hair tangling them in his dark locks as he broke the kiss a faint smile visible on his lips.Thank you for not giving on up me doll,I love you he said as he rested his forehead against mine as I kissed his cheek.I will never give up on you James I love you to damn much I said as I pulled away from him innerlacing our fingers,now let's get some sleep I said as I pulled him with me to our first full night of sleep in months.
