Aching for Adam

Chapter 6

As she spots me she squeals: "Ohhhh! Elle! I'm so glad you're here!" She's standing in a stunning blush princess gown with a sleeveless top and a beaded skirt. Her hair's pinned up with curls loosely hanging on either side of her face. She looks like a queen.

Her husband, Nathan, arrives at the same time and wraps an arm around my shoulders, "Hi Elle." He smiles.

Suzie kisses my cheek, and I can see she's been crying.

"I'm so happy to see you, congratulations to you both! Are you okay Suz?" I ask, hoping they're tears of joy.

"I'm fine, I'm just, so emotional," she chuckles and wipes her tears away. "Oh crap, I'm ruining my mascara. Can you come help me in the bathroom?"

"Of course," I reply. I say hi to her parents shyly, and they respond with a curt nod and polite smile. I would have liked a warmer reunion, but I think they probably sensed that I was really uncomfortable.

I'm more than grateful when Suzie grabs my wrist and tows me away, "C'mon, I really gotta pee!"

As we make our way to the bathroom, I smile and wave at people whom I recognize. I have a bit more confidence now that the bride is holding my hand and happily chatting away, telling me how wonderful her new husband is, and catching me up on everything else I missed. I feel like I actually belong here for the first time tonight.

We enter the ladies' room and she locks the door.

"Ok, tell me how you've been," she says, sitting down on the bench that's pushed against the wall and patting the empty seat beside her.

I laugh, "so you didn't have to pee?"

"I do, but first thing's first, tell me everything," she smiles.

I sit down beside her and completely open up to her. "Well, things haven't been that great lately," I admit. Her welcoming smile and warm personality has a way of instantly melting away your defences.

She sighs, "I'm so sorry, Elle, what's going on?"

I hang my head, "Suz, this is your day, I really want to be here for you, not the other way around. Why don't we talk about this another time?"

"You know I won't leave this bathroom until you spill all the deets," she warns. And I know she's not bluffing. She's kind and gentle, but she always gets what she wants.

"Fine. Well, I mean, there's not much to say. Rick is not the right man for me, that's pretty clear. I'm just waiting for the right time to move on. And well, I guess everything else is fine, you know, work, my family, my health. I can't complain," I smile feebly. I do have a pretty awesome life apart from Rick, but being here has got me in a slightly depressing mood. And what do you do when you're in a crappy mood? You focus on the crap.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

"Oh my gosh," I say, "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting this." I huff. She doesn't say anything, so I keep going.

"It's just... seeing you, and your family, and seeing... Adam... It brings back a lot of stuff. Unresolved issues, I guess. But I'm really glad to be here on your special day Suz, it means a lot that you invited me." I wipe my tear away and my smile is genuine when I look up at her. It just feels comforting to be sitting here with her. She still feels like family.

"Elle... I'm sorry. After I sent out the invites, I realized I hadn't thought about what I would be putting you or Adam through. It was never my intention of placing you in an awkward position. But selfishly, I'm happy you're here. I missed you."

"I missed you too. And I'm sure it's harder for me than it is for him. I think I just had a harder time moving on and finding a new happy place without Adam. Don't worry about it Suz, the important thing is that you're happy. And plus, I'm staying at The Plaza tonight so, you know, how could I ever be sad?" I snicker, and I take a deep breath in.

I had booked a room at the chicest hotel in the city, The Plaza. I remember one night, a few years ago, a huge storm had hit the city and Adam's family home was flooded. They had to stay the night at a hotel, and the Plaza was the only place with two rooms left. Adam's parents had a room, and Adam and Suzie had another. They had invited Nathan and I, and we all stayed up late, talked and laughed for hours, cramped up in our Plaza hotel room. I still remember that night like it was yesterday. It was the first time I felt like they were truly my family too.

"Actually Elle..." she looks down. "I don't think this is any easier for Adam. You should have heard him on the line when I told him you would be here. To be honest, I don't think things are going great with his girlfriend, either. She didn't even come tonight. Things must not be going well for her to miss her boyfriend's sister's wedding..."

My face froze. She continues, "This really isn't my place to say, but I feel like I just have to. I understand why you left. But you've been back for over a year. And, you guys are meant to be together. You were so happy. I mean, I know my bother, he always thought you were the one, and I don't think he really ever got over you... Maybe you should talk to him."

Another tear falls on my cheek. Deep down, I feel a tiny spark.

"Suzie, I don't think we're still in that place. I don't think we could ever go back." She hands me a tissue. "I wish—"

Just then, someone tries to open the door, and starts knocking when it won't open. "C'mon, go pee so we can get back to your wedding." I smile as I get up.

"Fine, but promise me you'll talk to him." She gives me a stern look.

"Of course I will, Suz. I'm not just going to ignore him." Dammit. Ignoring him was my original plan, but I couldn't tell her that.

I'll just have to man up and go talk to him.

Turns out I didn't have to look very hard to find him. As Suzie and I left the bathroom, and after the woman knocking on the door pushed through us, I see him standing right outside, pacing in front of the door. He stops short when he sees us.

"Hey," he says with his deep voice, looking towards me.

I look over at Suzie. She grins and gives me a little push towards him. "See you later, Elle."

I turn towards Adam, and take a very, very deep breath.