Aching for Adam

Chapter 16

ADAM

I need to talk to you.

6 words that had left me in complete shock. My heart started racing when I saw who the text was from and I couldn't understand the meaning of it. Was I still drunk from last night?

It obviously was because she wanted to tell me about the pregnancy. Unless it was something else, something completely random. Maybe she just needed a trusted reference for a dentist?

Yeah, fat chance.

Was it going to be a "Rick made me pregnant, and I need to tell you because I owe you that much" talk, or a, "I need to tell you I'm pregnant because you're the father" talk? A smile crept up to my lips as I thought of the second version of it.

I hadn't even considered it. That I could be the father. And why did that make my heart leap instead of making me scared as hell?

Hope had sparked in me, and although I tried to tame it because it would crush me if it turned out I wasn't the father, it had grew in a wildly uncontrollable manner. And I was picking out baby names despite myself.

I hadn't even thought of being a dad in the last three years, not even in the future, with Jasmine. And all of a sudden I felt like there was nothing I wanted more in life.

There was nothing I wanted more in life than to have a family with Elle, and I couldn't believe it might actually be true.

I knew things weren't going well with her and Rick lately, according to my sister, so maybe there was a real possibility we could have that second chance after all.

But I didn't want to get too wrapped up, worked up, and show up to her place to get stabbed in the heart. I had waited for my excitement to die down a little before showing up at her apartment. I was dearly hoping Tam didn't tell Elle after I had asked her for her address, in case I changed my mind at the last minute.

But whatever Elle had to tell me, I needed to see her, I needed her to tell me face to face. Whether it was good "we're going to be in eachother's lives forever" news, or bad "we'll never see eachother again" news.

Things had escalated quickly in my head, however, as I had entered her place. I did my best to hide my smile when she told me Rick had moved out, and waited for her to tell me whatever news she had to tell me; but nothing came out of her mouth. She was just standing there, frozen. So I just assumed it was bad news and blurted out the first things that had popped into my head.

This is not going well.

I struggle to keep my calm.

She seems to be distressed, she places a hand on her heart, probably trying to figure out a way to tell me, so it hurts me as least as possible.

I want to console her, but at that moment, I also want to run out in order to stop the hot knife that's plunging slowly into my chest.

I knew I should have tried harder to quash any sort of hope out of my mind. Anger starts to boil up, but I'm not angry at her, I'm angry at myself.

___

ELLE

"Yes...Great...I'm just great...Look, it's fine...you can go..." I can't bear to see him look at me like that a second longer. Well good luck with your baby. Not what I was expecting.

"It's fine, stay calm", I keep repeating to myself in my head.

He gets up, and walks toward the door, turning just before leaving. "You know, I'm not sure why you wanted to talk to me. It's not like I contacted you or left any indication that I still wanted to be part of your life. I let you move on. And now you summon me here to rub salt on the wound? When you know how I feel about you? I didn't think that was like you. I thought...I thought maybe...that's why I came, but...whatever, goodbye Elle." I see a pang of anger shoot across his features but he winces faintly, probably at the sting of his own words.