Aching for Adam

Chapter 15

After a peaceful night, I woke up smiling, remembering I wasn't alone anymore. I knew I had a full day of research and preparation ahead of me. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to try my best to get it right. I called my assistant and told her I'd be out of the office for the day, again.

I knew I would eventually have to call my mom and tell her, but for now, I wanted it to be just us for a little while longer.

Except—I needed to tell Adam. Soon. He had a right to know.

I pondered the best way to break the news as I ate breakfast and decided to keep it simple: face to face.

I texted him, I need to talk to you. It's important.

No reply.

I got dressed and drove to the closest bookstore. I ended up buying eight books on parenting and three on baby names, figuring that would be enough to get me started.

When I got home, instead of cracking open the books, I plopped down on my couch, opened my laptop, and lost five solid hours to Google.

Still no answer from Adam.

I finally went to bed, deciding I'd call him in the morning. I tried not to get upset that he hadn't replied, but I couldn't relax. I tossed and turned for an hour or two before I finally drifted off.

Twenty-four hours later, still no reply.

I told myself that if he couldn't even answer a text, then he sure as hell didn't deserve to know about the baby.

Okay, maybe I was overreacting a little. But I knew I could do this on my own. He could be part of the baby's life if he wanted—or not. It didn't change the fact that I was having this child.

I was just anxious because I wanted to hear his voice. But it was fine.

I decided I'd leave him a voicemail saying I needed to speak with him urgently, and if he didn't call back, then so be it. I wasn't going to hunt him down or tell him I was pregnant over the phone. If he ignored me, the message would be clear: he didn't want anything to do with me.

"Then it's decided," I muttered, nodding my head with purpose.

But a sharp pinch seized my heart.

In need of fresh air, I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. I swung it open—and froze.

Adam was standing right there on my doorstep, his right fist raised to knock. The sight sucked the wind out of me, leaving me stunned for several seconds.

"Hey. I'm sorry, is this okay? I know you live with your boyfriend, I just... needed to see you. I can come back." He looked four shades past nervous, which was not a version of him I was used to seeing.

"Hi," was all I managed to whisper. If it was even possible, he looked more handsome than he had at the wedding—in a loose tee and dark jeans, his dark hair tousled, his emerald eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my knees weak. His jaw flexed, the corner of his lips twitching upward.

I wanted to pull him inside and never let him go. I wanted to feel his body pressed against mine, to tell him how much I still loved him after all this time.

But I couldn't. And telling him I was pregnant with his child suddenly felt impossible. My hands started to shake.

"I'm sorry, it's fine," I blurted. "He doesn't—I'm not..." I sighed heavily, forcing myself to collect my thoughts with a deep inhale.

"I'm happy you're here. Thanks for coming. Rick isn't here. We're not... together anymore." His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "Would you like to come in?"

Great. I could still form complete sentences.

"Sure, I'd love to." He gave me a lopsided smile that stopped my heart, then stepped inside.

"I gather you got my text?" I asked, raising my brows with a smirk. A spark of annoyance crept in before I could bite my tongue.

"Yeah, sorry." He lowered his head. "I wasn't sure what to do at first. To be honest, I was in and out of meetings yesterday, and as soon as I decided I wanted to see you, I came straight here." He gulped. "I honestly... that morning, after... I was prepared to walk out of your life and never see you again."

Ouch.

Well, he was in for a surprise.

"My sister told me... about the pharmacy..." he muttered, lifting his gaze. "I guess congratulations are in order?"

Dammit, Suzie.

My breath hitched. He knew. My throat tightened, words sticking fast. His face twisted into a tight frown.

How could I tell him? How could I even begin? C'mon, Elle, just say something!

"Good luck with your baby. I'm happy for you," Adam finally said. But happy was nowhere near the look on his face. Horror was closer.

"Um..." I placed a hand over my chest, hoping it might calm the pounding of my heart.

"Are... are you okay?" He extended an arm toward me.