Aching for Adam

Chapter 21

The movers couldn't work fast enough for me, so I had to get out of the apartment and take a breather. Adam told me to trust him with the whole thing and just meet him in a few hours at our new home. So I did. I went for a bite to eat, then went for a little shopping therapy to calm my nerves.

Now, I'm parking into our driveway for the first time as the co-owner, and I'm feeling so giddy I might combust. I get out of the car and stare at our perfectly manicured lawn, english style columns, and red front door. I take a deep breath and admire the blissful suburban life that's awaiting me.

I open the front door, and walk in. The house is quiet, and I'm wondering if Adam fell asleep on the job. "Adam?" I take a few more steps. The sun has almost completely set, so the house is a bit dark, but I can see some light coming from the dining room on my left.

I turn the corner and Adam is sitting on a box, his crooked smile stopping my heart before I can take the whole scene in. Strings of white Christmas lights are hung around the room, giving it a comforting glow; in the middle of the room, four boxes are pushed together to form a table, and two boxes on each side serve of chairs—one of those on which Adam is sitting.

"What is this?" I ask, my heart speeding up a notch.

"I just wanted our first moments in our new home to be special." He lifts up a brown paper bag with his right hand. "I know it's not going to be the fanciest dinner, but—"

"It's perfect. So perfect, my love. You're the best." I say with a huff and a smile.

He just smiles and points to the box in front of him. "Have a seat, miss. Your food will be served shortly."

I chuckle and carefully sit on the box. What did I do to deserve this man?

We eat our first meal together in our new home, sharing laughter and smiles, and it's just blissful. We talk about the vision we have for each room, and the changes we want to make to truly make this place ours. I take a moment to appreciate how much my life has changed in so little time, and how happy I am that everything worked out just the way it was supposed to.

Adam had already installed the bed in our room, so we could be comfortable for our first night here. We were both exhausted, so we crashed pretty early and decided to get an early start the next day.

I wake up, and there's only one thing on my mind. Well, okay, two things. The first is to unpack our stuff, obviously, and the second is to go see Adam's parents first chance I get. I realized last night that the only thing in our lives that made this moment a little less perfect, for Adam, at least, was the fact that his parents weren't on board with any of it. And I wanted my child to have all of their grandparents present in his or her life.

We spend the day unpacking, and there's obviously no time for me to go over to his parent's place, but tomorrow is Monday, and I know I'll be able to take a couple hours off in the morning to visit them. Another day ends, and although Adam spent the whole day trying to help me with simple things while he was doing all of the heavy lifting, I'm still completely spent. I don't even have the energy to take off my clothes before throwing myself on the bed and almost immediately falling asleep.

___

I wake up Monday morning, and it takes me a few seconds to realize I'm in my pj's. Adam must have put them on me last night after I fell asleep. I get up and get ready for work, planning to make a stop on my way.

"Hi Danielle, it's nice to see you again." I say when the front door swings open. I'm standing in front of Adam's mom, and she doesn't seem happy to see me. "I was wondering if I could talk to you. Is Rob here?" I try to keep my voice from shaking. I know I have to do this, and I can't let them under my skin. I'm trying to remember I'm here for Adam, that I need to be strong for him.

"Sure, come in." She says between clenched teeth and a fake attempt at a smile. I walk into the house and it's exactly as I remember it. Nothing's changed except for the fact that it's a little less messy. I guess that happens when the kids move out.

"Rob, can you come into the kitchen for a few minutes?" Danielle calls, eyeing me wearily.

We stand in an uncomfortable silence for a few beats until Rob appears. "Hey, Elle, it's nice to see you again. How have you been?" His tone is a little more upbeat, which gives me a bit more courage. But Danielle throws him a look and he immediately recedes.

Here goes nothing. "Um, I'm not so sure where to start, but... I know that you guys are not really on board with everything that's been going on lately. And I know it's a lot to take in, and that it's going fast, it's just... well I know it's really affecting Adam, and I thought that maybe we could find a way to make peace, so that—"

"Let me stop you right there. There is nothing that we have or want to say to you. We don't owe you an explanation, and frankly, you showing up here out of the blue is disrespectful. We're not just going to stand by while you weasel your way into Adam's life again and end up hurting him like you did when you just up and left. If he wasn't more important than your job, why are you back together with him? Huh? Is it because of the money? You're self-employed now, so you need him to provide for you? Well, that's not going to happen. And you know what?" I can feel my face turning red and my eyes start to water. "If you don't end things with him and deal with your...", she points to my stomach, "problem... well you can be sure as hell that we won't support you. Nor him. If you don't end things, we'll cut him off and it'll kill him. So choose wisely. If you truly love him, you'll do what's right. And if you don't, well, then we'll know."

She walks away and slams the door on her way out. Rob just turns around and follows her, and I'm left standing alone in their kitchen, tears finally flowing freely.

I run out as fast as I can and I drive away, trying to blink the tears away so I can see clearly. When I realize I just can't see anything, I pull over and put my car into park. I start sobbing, and although I know I don't have to let her words hurt me, I can't help it. I just can't believe she referred to my child as a "problem". I want to punch something, but I'm just stuck in my car with nowhere to go. I know I can't go to work in this state, and I know I can't go back home either.

The tears clear out a bit and I'm able to start driving again. I just drive and drive, until I'm on the road to the town I lived in after I left Adam. There was this small hotel I stayed in when I first arrived, and I drive towards it without looking back.