Expectations // Soukoku

1 // The way it goes

Because that's just the way it goes

Disclaimer:
This story will have elements that are references to the life of the author Osamu Dazai. And Dazai has been given some traits of the author's life,

For example, like Osamu Dazai, he will be the eighth surviving child of the Tsushima family, and his father is politically important but unlike Osamu Dazai, his dad did not die from lung cancer nor suffer from it, and also, unlike Osamu Dazai, he does not become an author. He doesn't develop an interest in an author who commits suicide, causing him to halt his career nor anything that happened to the author from that point forward, but instead, the pressure from school, his parents and successful siblings has driven him to be suicidal.

Started (day//month/year): 15/5/2019

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Second by second the time passed by until the phone beside the bed started playing the song it did every morning at the same time. It was the time he had to get up.

A loud groan was heard as the brunet opened his eyes, he sat up, rubbing his eyes before turning his alarm off. Oh, just how tired he had grown of that song already.

He had to constantly change the song, for waking up to it morning by the morning after most of the time, a not so well slept night, made him grow tired of the songs fast.

Sometimes he would keep the same song for a month, sometimes a week, sometimes only a few days, it depended on the song.

But, he knew he had to get up, and it wasn't the song's fault. That's just the way it goes.

After a moment, he lazily swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up.

Still tired, he made his way over to the bathroom.

Once he reached his destination, he walked over to the sink, washing his hands -making sure he didn't wet the bandages he had around his arms- and of course, also his face.

His gaze wandered up to the mirror, staring at his own image. His hand moved up to the mirror as well, tracing the edge of the white bandages around his neck. Then the hand moved up his jaw to his cheek and eyes, his tired eyes, that lacked any emotion.

He just wanted to stay home, but he couldn't. He just wanted to end it then and there, end the pain, ends the suffering, but he couldn't.

They would never let him.

That's just the way it goes.

He had to go to school, to class, to study, to get good grades, pass all his tests, he didn't have time for friends, he couldn't make time for friends, besides, how could he match up to their expectations while using his time on something like friends. Again, just the way it goes.

Not really feeling hungry, he just got himself a glass of water. Even if he was hungry, he wouldn't have wasted his time on that, no, he couldn't have wasted his time on that.

He had to make use of all the time he had, to please them. He couldn't disappoint them, and that's why he worked so hard.