Expectations // Soukoku

10 // Then you showed up

"I swear to God, I never fall in love
Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it"
Machine Gun Kelly - my ex's best friend

I've finally regained my love for this ship
Also motivated by Dean (the guy in the cover) :) and kpop ship videos weird enough

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It's weird how your stance can change so quickly. What a strange world it is where you're completely against something until someone shows up in your life.

A kiss. Just a little bit of contact that could change how you see yourself. Something that could leave you yearning for the closeness of a person. Craving for their lips to be back on yours. Like the two of you are suddenly the only people in the universe. What a strange feeling.

"Chuuya...", Dazai breathed out, biting his lip as his eyes softly explored all the features of Chuuya's face so close up for the first time. Chuuya didn't reply. Their eyes met and then there was a silence.

Music? Were they listening to music again? Dazai's drum-like heartbeat along with his mind basically exploding from these new feelings had drowned out the music altogether.

"Can... Can we do that again?" Chuuya finally mumbles. His ocean eyes diverted from Dazai's chocolate ones. Dazai nodded slowly with a soft hum. Neither of them was used to this. It was all so new. But it felt so good?

They didn't know how to go about another kiss. Would they just lean in and it would just happen on its own? Would they need to manoeuvre it? Whatever they wished for they were just teens unfamiliar with these things. But it turns out that some things come more naturally than others. While it was hard to start leaning in when their lips touched it was a completely different story. It was a combination of bottled need and lust with something more warm and soft. A thing that couldn't be put into words without sounding like every romance book you read in middle school.

Whether or not the boys wanted to admit it there was a feeling kept inside them that was more than just being a hormone-controlled teen boy. Something still so uncertain but with the potential to bloom into a beautiful relationship or rot into a poisonous apple that would eventually destroy their friendship.

So they started to slowly lean in and while it felt a bit awkward at first when their lips touched it all felt so natural. Like they had been doing it for ages when in reality it was only the second time. Sometimes things just feel like they are meant to be and this was definitely one of those things no matter how cheesy it sounds.

Dazai could feel Chuuya bite his lip softly as the ginger's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. Dazai melted under the touch, every inch of his body wanting to surrender to Chuuya's touch at that moment. Without realising his hands found their way to Chuuya's hips, pulling them to him lustily. Chuuya chuckled against his lips and their lips parted just a little. "So needy...", Chuuya said, out of breath.

Dazai found himself lost in Chuuya's eyes like the answer to fixing his life was hidden in them, and who knows maybe it was. Then he smiled. "You're cute", he mumbled and connected their lips again. Chuuya smiled at the shy compliment, prideful that he had gotten one out of Dazai in the first place.

Time seemed to fly by as at some point they found themselves lying on the floor just cuddling and trying to hold one another close, talking about the most random of things that happened to pop in their heads. Nothing felt different, really, it felt like how they would talk to each other normally but this time they let their bodies be free to do what they craved. That's when Chuuya's adoptive mum came in. The boys quickly moved away from each other. Chuuya's mum didn't seem to mind but Dazai was still very new to this side of his sexuality and too shy to show it publicly. "Chuu, is he sleeping over?" She asked in a calm voice, almost too calm, to the point where it was kind of eery.

Chuuya turned to Dazai. "Do you want to?", he asked. Dazai thought about it for a moment. He could stay here with Chuuya like he deep down longed to or he could go home and gather his feelings.

"I...", he started about to decline until he looked at Chuuya and suddenly he felt that he couldn't say no to the boy. "Yeah, I'd like to." he eventually said, still weirded out about how he changed his mind.

The woman nodded. "Should I get a futon or?"

Chuuya glanced at Dazai then back at his mum. "I think we'll be fine, thanks, Kōyō*." Kōyō smiled and then turned to leave. Just before she closed the door she gave Dazai a firm look. Dazai gulped and chuckled awkwardly.

Turns out that just because you previously had the confidence to full-on make out with someone doesn't mean that you have the confidence to sleep close to them. That's how it turned out to be for Dazai at least. He lay on his side staring at the ceiling, cursing at himself that he didn't get closer to Chuuya. At least this gave him the time to think. Everything had happened too fast. At no point had he had the time to just stop and think about what happened. He bit his lip as he realised that one boy had changed everything he thought he knew about himself in just one night. Yet even with that, he had no idea what Chuuya thought of him. Yeah, he was the one to ask for a second kiss but what the intention behind that was was still unclear to Dazai. Hell, he didn't know if he was just a one-night thing to Chuuya or if he genuinely liked him. It was all so confusing. He wished he had the confidence to just ask but just the thought of that felt embarrassing.

God, he was hopeless at the whole 'love' thing.

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Yikes, this is so short but I suddenly got motivated to write this and really wanted to finish is so here :D

Also, remember when I said I would do like multiple updates a week back in September and then proceeded to do it for one chapter and even that was late-