Counterfeit - 5SOS 2/3

Chapter 22 - *A.R*

***BEFORE YOU READ - NEW FEMALE CHARACTER YES OR NO? POSSIBLE LOVE INTEREST FOR ONE OF THE BOYS***

-Alyce-

Chucking various outfits into my suitcase L.P and I were gossiping as we did. I had no idea where we going to be eating and going out so I packed a variety of outfits and shoes, including my favourite Louboutin heels. 

“So we are sharing clothes right?” L.P joked as she pulled a dress from my wardrobe and placed it in her suitcase.

I laughed and nodded allowing her full access to my wardrobe and shoe collection. As she happily packed away, I grabbed my leather holdall from the bottom of my cupboard and placed it on my bed. Bagging up my makeup and some nightwear I opened the zip on the front and inside was a white envelope. 

‘Alyce’

It read on the front, and instantly I new what it was. I excused myself to my ensuite while L.P continued to dance around my room listening to her headphones since I have put a ban on Blink 182 being played loudly. 

Sitting down on the side of the bath I peeled the back of the envelope and took out the paper from inside. There were three sides of a4 paper and the writing was so hard that it had indented the other side. Taking a deep breath, I started to read. 

Dear Ducky,  Alyce,

I am writing you this letter because honestly it is easier than pouring out all my feelings to you in person especially now you are dating Luke. Which I guess you could say, if you’re happy then I’m happy. Except I honestly don’t think you are happy. Ok please don’t stop reading because I said that.

I’ve apologised so many times, but I know I’ll never be able to take back what I did. I wish I could, but I can’t. I was so stupid Alyce, baby. I don’t know why I ever did the things I did, I already had the best girl for me back at home; yet I was pulled into a world which I didn’t need. Looking back off course I could have crawled out but once it has a hold of you it becomes harder and harder to do so. 

I remember the first time I met you. You were wearing that sparkly zebra striped dress with the cut outs that perfectly hugged your figure. From across the room, I knew I needed to know you. Even with the amount I had drunk that night I knew you were special, you are still special. Fuck, I know that Luke had technically called ‘dibs’ on you or whatever but I was not going to let him get in the way of me knowing you. I want to say I regret what I did to Luke, but because I had you at the time I couldn’t, and I still don’t.

Our first real date was perfect. That little tea house on North Gate road all snuggly in the booth at the back. You revealed so much of your personality that I had not yet seen and honestly felt so lucky that you did. Right then I knew you were special. I loved that you were outspoken about your opinions and the slight feisty attitude you gave off. That smile that crept onto your face when I asked you on the second date while on the first was precious. The second date was perfect but nothing will compare to the first date. I learnt all about you and your life as you did about mine. 

Seeing you with Luke absolutely killed me and I deserved it. I could see that he was treating you like the princess that we all know you are, the way I should have treated you. Watching him wrap his arms around you to protect you from me was the worst sight I have ever seen. You shouldn't be scared of me, and that should be me protecting you from the bad things in the world. I just wish I could rewind to when I first met you and do this all differently. I don’t deserve you at all. I honestly don’t know why you stuck around so long. 

I wonder where you are when you are reading this letter? Are you on your plane going to London or are you in London? If I could have said this to your face, I would have done but I doubt it would have been appropriate.

Love isn't something that you find, but something that finds you. And it will never find me again. You are the only woman I can ever love. You’re always going to be the only person to have my heart, yet I know I won’t be the only to have your heart. I meant it that night, that night when I said that I was in love with you. Honestly, I felt it on our second date but I didn’t want to rush things. Fuck, why didn’t I rush things. If you could let me love you again, I’d do it right, I promise. But I bet the lock and chain is on your heart. I dont blame you. 

I know it is to late to apologise because the deed is done but I just want you to know I am sorry. I’m always going to be sorry. You probably don’t want to hear it, but those girls meant nothing. They never even came close to you and nobody ever will. Some people come into your life and you know straight away that nobody is ever going to be able to replace them, that is you.

Alyce, I am so incredibly proud of everything you have achieved while in Sydney. This UN job is everything you have wanted and to see you finally have it makes me proud. Even though it is in London I’m always going to be here for you or on the other end of the telephone. 

I’m just some stupid boy that broke your heart, but I am willing to do everything in my power to fix it and I really mean that. You’re such a ten, and I’m barely a two but somehow you saw past that and loved me anyhow. I’m not angry or annoyed at you for what you did with Luke, I don’t have a right to be; but even if I did I wouldn't be. He gave you the attention that you needed, that I should have given to you. 

Luke my say he loves you or whatever but I highly doubt he loves you as much as I do. He can’t and won’t ever. You and I have history and not all off it is bad. You know you better than anyone else, likewise you know me more than I know myself and nobody will ever have that. That is something we share. 

There are so many things that I want to say to you, but I don’t know how. But I can’t be angry at him, he is only doing everything I should have done for you. Everything I would do for you, if only you gave me another chance. That however is about as likely as a blue moon. 

By now you are probably bored of all my nattering on so I guess I leave it here. Just know whatever you decide, whatever decision you come to on anything I’ll always be there for you, by your side, on your side. You can call me on your darkest of days and I’ll listen, I’ll always listen. You’re my everything. 

I love you Alyce, I love you for ever and always. Good luck in London Ducky.

Froggy…Ashton

x

Tears rolled down my cheeks and hit the black ink on the paper slightly smudging the words. My heart ached for Ashton and the raw emotion that was held in the letter. I read every word, envisioning him reading it to me in his voice. 

My whole relationship flashed before me and without thinking twice I jumped up from my position and ran out of the bathroom into the spare room where I knew Ashton was. His was lying down on the bed as I made my way through his door slamming the door closed behind me. Throwing my body down on the bed next to him, our faces inches apart I pressed my lips against his cheek.

“Ash…you’re always going to be mine” I hummed against into the crook of his neck.  

/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\

A.N

So...a cute Ashton/Alyce chapter about the letter he wrote her in chapter 36 of Holographic...did ya'll remember?

I think I have my writing mojo back...which is good because that break fucking kiled me...i hate writers block!

shoutout to onesecondofsummer_ and OvergrownDinosaur for their perf input into the letter, much love to you guys! 

Whats gonna happen next...whats going to happen to Luke?