Music And Silence- A Reylo AU

Chapter 18- What to do

Phoebe knocked tentatively on Rae's door; it wasn't exactly early, but she'd been home from Hux's a while, and neither she nor Rose had seen Rae yet. She and Hux had spoken to Ben when they'd gotten up that morning. He'd been vague on the details but said he'd found Rae outside work late last night and driven her home. Hux then relayed the story of his ex-Chloe. Phoebe had excused herself as soon as she was decent, grabbed some food, and headed home. On arriving back, the apartment was quiet, and Rose was sitting in the living room curled up in her dressing gown, watching TV.

"Hey, you're home earlier than usual," she said, greeting Phoebe.

"Is Rae home?"

"I think I heard her get in late. Not seen her this morning, and I woke up stupid early; couldn't get back to sleep."

Phoebe ran a hand through her hair.

"OK."

"Everything alright."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna make some tea; you want some?"

"Always," Rose said as if the question was stupid.

Phoebe made tea, took one to Rose on the sofa and took the other to where she now stood outside Rae's door. There was no answer, so she opened it slowly, wishing they'd used some WD40 on their doors as it screeched loudly despite her best efforts. The room was dark, but Rae wasn't in her bed. She sat in the corner of the room in her rocking chair, knees drawn up to her chest, headphones in but clearly not very loudly as she turned to look at Phoebe and immediately removed them and gave her a wan smile. Phoebe closed the door behind her, took the tea over to Rae, and then perched herself on the edge of Rae's bed.

"Hey. You OK?"

Rae held the cup and looked at her.

"Ben told you?"

"No details. He just said he found you outside work and brought you home. That you'd had a bad night, and then Hux told me about Chloe."

Rae noticed the way Phoebe said Chloe, disdainful, even a little jealous that someone before her had been that important to Hux and hurt him, making Rae smile.

"It's no big deal; honestly, I'm fine."

"Then why are you sat in the dark alone?"

Now Rae started to tear up, and Phoebe went to her side and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Rae, don't get upset."

"I feel so ashamed."

"Hey, he's the one that should feel ashamed, not you."

"What?" Rae looked at her, confused.

"He's just a player, and thank goo..."

"I'm not ashamed about Corey, fuck Corey. I've already forgotten about him."

Phoebe leaned back from her, confused, "Then... why are you upset?"

"Phoebe," Rae paused, giving her a desolate expression, "I've been so blind. You were right, and I didn't listen to you."

Phoebe smiled, "You never listen to me."

"No, no, I listen to you, I take it all in, and then I do what I want regardless because I don't want to believe anyone else might be right. I'm so bloody stubborn and proud. I thought I knew what I wanted, and I was so stupid, and now I don't know what to do."

Phoebe looked at her again, sitting on the floor now, "About what?"

Rae gave her an anguished face, "About Ben."

Phoebe raised her eyebrows at her questioningly, "Ben?"

"I've been so awful to him, I've been unkind, and I'm so ashamed. He didn't deserve it, and all because of that first time we met him."