Paint Me Red

6. Ebenezer Justine Ambrose

I couldn't help but think of that man I met in the club last week.

Moretti. Ignazio Moretti.

That name. He was the Italian Mafia head. My father's boss.

I did not want him to know my last name. I'm not proud of it. I never will be.

In fact, if given a chance, I will go to any lengths to change it. Erase it.

When I was seven, I was told that one day I will follow my father's footsteps.

Hearing it at that age, made me feel proud and determined.

But as I grew up, that pride and determination turned into hatred and anger.

Watching him so cunningly deceive the ones he was supposed to be loyal to.
Watching him climb the steps towards success but not before crushing other people like they were pesky insects.

He did dirty, unacceptable and unforgivable deeds.

And when I refused, I was so conveniently declared a 'disgrace' to the family's reputation.

He wanted me to be the right hand to Elias Moretti's son, Ignazio Moretti.

I did not want to work under someone. I wanted to achieve something on my own, stand on my feet, even if it would not be much, it would still be something I could proudly call mine.

And when Ebenezer was born, I knew it became more than just a passion.

I worked day and night. I was never ashamed to admit I worked for money, never will be.

I wasn't into illegal stuff. Although I did have to fight off the enemies on our back, courtesy to father dearest.

I have killed people who became a threat to me. But never once had I done it to get a thrill out of it.

And it is not something I like to recall over and over.

After I turned ten, I started noticing the distant behavior of my parents.

Long talks turned into point-to-point ones, bedtime stories turned into curt good nights, family dinners turned into occasional get together, laughs decreased, smiles became forced, signs of kindness, care and compassion disappeared slowly.

And I grew up.

I wouldn't lie and say that I didn't have a micro sized atom of hope left in me. Because I did.

And when I have had enough one day, I walked out of my room and towards the kitchen where my parents sat, laughing and drinking wine.

"What has happened to us?" I asked in a cracking voice.

"Honey, I know we should've realised it earlier but to be completely honest with you, we just don't feel like parenting. The parenthood wasn't meant for us. Your father and I have always been free souls. We can't be bound by any other relationships other than ours." mom shrugged.

Dad did not even bother sparing a glance in my direction.

The information was too much to digest for my seventeen year old brain so I did what most sane people would do.

I walked out of there without uttering a single word.

I cried that night. A lot. I cried myself to sleep. But before closing my eyes, I promised myself that it was the last time I cried.

I was going to turn eighteen in a few months, it was the only thing that kept me going everyday.

Soon I would move out and cut all the toxic relationships out of my life.

When that day arrived, I wished it hadn't.

I saw my mother crying, sitting on her bed in her room.

I would have asked her what had happened to make her cry this much, had I not seen the pregnancy test in her hand.

My heart broke into more tiny pieces because I knew exactly what would happen now.

But something hit me deeper than the hurt I felt thinking about the murder of an innocent life.

Determinaton to save it. No matter the cost.

"You're not going to abort it." I said.
She looked up startled.

"Deliver the baby and I will raise him as mine. People will never find out." I reason.

After a couple of weeks and a lot of arguments and convincing, she finally agreed.

They both did.

I was the first to hold him, look at him, kiss him and finally name him.

He was mine. I made sure of it that my parents would never get his custody.

I raised him, stayed up with him, heard him speak, watched him walk then run, played with him and above all, loved him with everything inside of me.

After receiving my degree, I search the crowd for Braylon and true to his promise he's sitting in the second last row.

I smile at him and get off the stage, taking long strides towards him.

"I'm so proud of you." he says hugging me tightly.

"Thank you so much. This all wouldn't have been possible without you. I owe you my life." I say.

"You owe me only a good cup of coffee. Let's go." he replies and drags me away from the University crowd.

We spend that entire day together along with Ebenezer who was all smiles and rainbows the minute I walked through that door with my degree in my hand, black gown cladded on my body and same colored hat sitting proudly on my head.

"You did it, Zoe." he said grinning.

I did it. I did it all for him.

For Ebenezer Justine Ambrose.