(Seven Deadly Sins, Ban x reader) Waiting For The End

9. Can't Go

(Y/n) pov
Flashback before the sins

"(y/n)!?" Ban sits up, surprised to see me after he hadn't for about two weeks.

"Don't be too loud..." I take out the keys, unlocking the cell.

"Hang on? What are you doing?" He grabs the door as if he was going to prevent me from opening it.

"I'm... I'm letting you go." I answer.

He tries to take in the information. His eyes dart around my face, searching for any other clue.

The edges of my lips curve down, and my eyes are a little glossy. I'm trying my hardest to appear stoic and neutral, but clearly failing.

"...Why?"
He lets his hand slip off the bars.

"I overheard some guards talking about your execution." I'm barely at a volume high enough for him to hear me, but it's the loudest I can get my voice without it breaking.

Ban has to take a couple of steps back as I push the door open.

"But, you, I," he tries to come up with a proper response, but the loud ticking of the clock makes me impatient and anxious.

I grab his wrist and pull him out of the cell, then guide him through the castle, sneaking up to my room, where we first met.

I jam a chair underneath the handles of the door, then finally relax just enough to take a full breath.

"Here," I hand Ban a bag filled with raw gold.

"What?" He looks in it with confusion.

"it's just so you can make it back safely to wherever you are going." I explain.

"What? No, you can't just give me exactly what I was trying to steal." His refusal sounds out of character.

"Here, that is worth less than the food I made for you." I reassure him.

"Wait, you made that?" He's surprised about the wrong thing considering how he's expressed how valuable gold is where he's from.

"Not every single time, but yeah, I made the soup, BBQ sandwich, and the cookies." I note a few a the dishes he seemed to really enjoy.

"... you're a really good cook." He smiles with tears in his eyes.

"Thanks," I mimic his smile.

he pulls me into a tight, warm hug, reminding me how safe I feel with him. I don't need to hide anything.

I hug him back, crying into his chest.
"You're really, really tall, you know that?"

"You're just small."
He lets out a weak chuckle, giving me a squeeze.
"Come with me... please."

He steps back a bit, keeping one hand on my back while the other goes to hold my face, gently wiping away a tear with his thumb.

"I hate missing you." His voice is desperate.

"Ban, I-" my words are cut off by his soft, warm, gentle lips against mine. I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back for a second. getting myself to pull away is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time.

"You could run away with me, away from this place, this place that's been making you so miserable. Spend the rest of my life with me." he smiles at me, hopeful.

"I can't," I bite the inside of my cheek, wishing his words could convince me.

"Why not? What's stopping you?" His voice is still gentle, but the way he pulls his arms away and looks at me makes me feel like he's demanding an explanation.

I stare at the floor, taking a deep, shakey breath.
"I... I think if I did, I'd end up completely falling in love with you." I use my wrist to wipe my tears.

"What's wrong with that?! is it because I'm a thief? A basterd, raised by horrible people? I'll never be someone worthy of a princess!" His tone becomes more aggressive.

"No, no, that's not it." I sound desperate, wanting to clear up the false shallow vision of me he currently has in his mind.

"Why?" The whimper in his voice hurts. I'm the one causing his pain, and I don't feel like what I have to say is going to make him feel any better.

"...I, I can't watch you die. I just can't sit around waiting for your end. It will never feel like we'd have enough time. I can't afford to love you. You, or anyone else." Tears continue falling.

"That's not fair," his face is almost wetter than mine.

"I can't do it. I won't be strong enough." I stare at the floor, wishing I could already forget him, his face, his beautiful red eyes, the way his strong arms felt around me, his soft lips.

But the silence hurts, and I start to regret my decision. I don't want him to leave me. I miss his blue hair, sharp jawline, and any sound he'd make, a laugh, a cough, a sneeze.

I then realize I haven't heard as much as a sniffle from him in our comfortless silence.

I look up, but he's not there anymore. I quickly search the rest of my room but stop myself from looking out the window. Seeing him climbing down the tower would break me.

I wouldn't be able to stop myself from begging him to come back.

(876 words)