(Seven Deadly Sins, Ban x reader) Waiting For The End

25. Worthy

(Y/n) pov

I take a deep breath trtlying to get ready to say something to Ban
"Ban... I was in love with you for a very, very long time" I say looking down

"Was?" Ban repeats sadly

"You helped me get over Danny when he first disappeared, But not in a good way... I was just focusing all my sad thoughts on how I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I was so happy when I met you again as one of the sins, once you told me about elaine I got better at hiding my not so little crush and convinced myself that you were just something that wasn't going to happen, like a celebrity crush or fictional character" I tell him as few tears fall down my face
"I loved you so much... I-I probably still do, but I can't hurt Danny" I'm barely able to say then see how much Ban was crying making the pit in my stomach grow

"I know that's one of the reasons why I wasn't going to tell you! Because Danny is so fucking perfect, and he could make you happier than I ever could " Ban tells me and I take a deep breath trying to be able to talk without completely sobbing

"Do you really believe that?" I ask quietly and Ban waits a moment before answering

"Not completely... I believe that Danny is a man worthy of your love, and he would do anything to make you happy... but I also think I would do anything a could to make you happy" Bans words hit me like a bus making me cry more

"I'm sure if I found out about your feelings any time before Danny showed up then we would be together, but I don't want to hurt him just so I can have the possibility of something better" I sob

"Damn it (y/n)! What the hell am I going to do with that information! For the rest of my life I would think about how I could have been with the woman I love if I only had the balls to actually tell her how I felt! I was even trying to tell you seconds before Danny showed up!" Ban laughs bitterly while tears are still streaming down his face

"What are you talking about? Didn't you say that if you kill me elaine would come back" I say doing my best to not let my voice break

"Elaine is an amazing woman but... I don't think I ever loved her as much as I love you!" Ban says

"That's Bullshit!" I yell
"You can't say that you never loved her! She was the reason we weren't together ten years ago!" I say

"I'm not saying that I never loved her! I'm saying that when I met her I didn't know how much more love I could feel for someone, because someone made me lose all memory of her!" He tells me emphasizing the word someone

"That wasn't my fault I was tricked" I defensively say

"Whatever not like it matters anymore" Ban says before laying down in his bed then I decide to lay down in the hammock and after a while of Ban not saying anything I figured he fell asleep
"(Y/n)?.." Ban said my name and I quietly hum to tell him I'm listening
"After Danny dies would you ever consider maybe being my girlfriend? Danny was trying to convince me to be with you after he's gone to get you to cheer up faster" Ban says quietly

"I would say yes, but I don't want you to even think about trying to wait until that happens, I just want you to be happy and I think that means you need to move on" I reply

"figures you'd say something like that" he says yawning

"Good night Ban... I'm sorry" I say softly before trying to fall asleep

Ban pov

"Hey gowther I need your help with something" I say after finding him

"I need you to erase most of my memory of (y/n)" I tell him
"But just for today I'll want them back, maybe"

"Why?" Gowther asks me

"I'm doing an experiment" I explain

"I'll do it for you. But I need you to tell me the results of the experiment" gowther says

"Ok deal, but make it so I remember that (y/n) is one of the eight deadly sins and my friend" I tell him

"You have feelings that are stronger than friendship for (y/n), is this correct?" He asks and I hesitantly nod
"Are you aware that (y/n) has the same feelings for you?" He says

"I am now" I say quietly slightly pissed he never told me

"What do you hope to accomplish with this experiment?" He questions

"I'm trying to make it through today" I admit

"What do you mean?" Gowther asks

"I don't know if you would understand" I reply

(833 words)