Voices • Jack Avery

43 • Voices

Inside Alex's Mind

Why are you still hanging around those guys? You know you just annoy them like you do everyone else.

They're my friends.

Please. This all started because their manager told them to be friends with you. Jack is probably only with you for publicity.

That's not true, they're my friends.

It doesn't matter how much you say it, it won't come true.

How would you know.

I know because I'm you, I'm just honest.

I need to be optimistic not honest.

Please. Everyone wants you to be happy all the time. How do you think they'd react if I was the one doing the talking instead? Then they'd all know how you really feel.

No. They can't know.

But if they're your "friends" then they won't mind, right.

I don't want to burden them.

That's just an excuse. Last time you let London in she kept telling you to be happy. Why do you think that is?

Because she's my friend and she doesn't want me to be depressed all the time.

No, she's sick of dealing with your mood swings.

Even if you're right they're still my friends, otherwise they would have left me.

Trust me they want to.

No they don't.

Why are you so sure about that? Even your parents are trying. They're getting a divorce after all.

That's not my fault.

Isn't it? They were happy when they were young, when you weren't around.

I had nothing to do with it.

Yes you did. You were such a burden that you caused a wedge between them.

They weren't fighting because of me.

Yes they were. You heard them. After you overdosed the first time they didn't know what to do with you. That's when it started.

That's not true. They're not leaving me.

Aren't they? When was the last time they visited?

They're just busy. They'll visit soon.

Don't be so sure. Soon enough everyone will leave you, including Jack.

Jack likes me. He wouldn't leave me. He said he wouldn't.

Do you really think he'll still be there after you get back from tour?

He will. He knows it's what my career needs.

Please, yoyr career is non existent. You know this tour will be a failure. London and Jackson will blame you and leave you.

It won't be and even if it was they wouldn't abandon me.

Yes they would and so will Jack. They're better off without you.

Maybe they are, but Jack won't leave. He likes me.

But he doesn't love you.

How do you know?

You've been together for almost a month and he's never even hinted at it.

He's just not ready yet. Neither am I.

He's never going to be ready because he doesn't love you. And don't lie, you are ready.

I'm not.

You are, you're just afraid of rejection because you know you're worthless.

I'm not.

Yes you are. What good have you ever done?

....

See. You have no answer. You know I'm right.

You're right. They don't like me.

Exactly.

I'm worthless. I don't deserve them. I don't deserve happiness.

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So this chapter was shorter than the others and very different.

In case you're confused, I've always wanted to write a chapter that gives an insight to the voices in Alex's head. This is what she heard when she's going through a rough patch.

I hope you guys didn't hate it oof