Self-Reflection

Stalker

You first saw me at work
I remember you
You were with that pregnant lady

I thought that was your wife
By the way you were holding her
My fault for assuming

I didn't know you went to the same university as me.
I didn't know you were in the same class as me
I didn't know
Because you weren't in that class
Until you saw me at work

You come up to me when I'm alone
Don't think I don't see you
Walking back and forth
Staring at me
I see you

I told you to leave me alone
I told you I wasn't interested
I told you I just wanted to focus on school
Why don't you listen?

Leave me alone.

You scare me.

But you didn't.

You followed me after my art class.

How did you know I get out at 4:40 that day?

How did you know my car?

How did you know I was going to be alone in the parking lot?

I went towards my car and you blocked it.
I have no where to go.
You held on to my car door
You wouldn't let me close it
I couldn't leave
I was in shock
I was so scared

You gave me flowers
You told me you saw them and they reminded you of me.
You said you waited 2 hours for me to get out of class.

I told you I didn't want them.
I told you to take them back.
But you shoved them towards me.
You were aggressive.
It hurt.

You were angry.
Very angry.
I know that look.
You gave me that look.
I thought you were going to hit me
I know you wanted to
When I said No.

You kept asking me to be with you.
I told you No.
You asked if we can meet up.
I said No.
No means No.
But you kept asking anyways
You got angrier and angrier
I can see it in your face
Your body language

I was getting ready for the beating
Like I always do.
I was ready.

But you ended up hitting the car
And you finally left.

I felt a sense of relief.
I ended up crying.
I was shaking.
I'm so useless.

How did I let that happen?
I had pepper spray
Why didn't I use it?

I reported it to the school.
They didn't do anything.
You were still in my class.
You are lucky.
I filed a restraining order with the police.
Even with that, I don't feel safe.
I'm scared.

I don't want to feel this way.
Look at what you did.
I'm scared.