Self-Reflection

Pondering

I wonder if you still have my letters.
What did you do to them.?

Did you burn it?
Did you throw it away?
Do you still have it?
Do you read them again?

I wonder how it made you feel.
Did it boost your ego
Or was that when you lost all romantic interest in me?

I wonder

Do you still think of me?
Do I ever come across your mind?
Do you ever see something and think of me?

I know I do.
You've plagued my thoughts.
I'm such a whore for you.

Did I lose you when I brought up Paris?
I hope you knew that I was just fucking with you.

Did you find someone better than me?

Was it when I was telling you about my feelings? When I told you what I was upset about?

Did you just want to fuck me?

Sometimes I wonder

Do I actually miss you?

Do I?
Or do I miss being held?

Do I just miss kissing you?
Or did I miss your bed?

Was I actually happy with you?
Or did you just distract me from my sadness?

Did we actually have anything in common?

I still have your shirt.
Did you want it back.?
Or should I burn it? Like burning the memory of you forever.

When I was drunk, I wanted to call you and ask you all these things.
These questions are burning in my mind.
But I had enough self-control not to call you.

You don't want me anymore......
but why?

I wonder

What did I do wrong?