Self-Reflection

Realization

I posted a picture of myself today.
A full body picture.

I kept getting so much dms
And comments
On how "Sexy" I look.
How Fine I am.
How I'm a "Baddie"
Some would send kissy emojis
Or heart eyes.

Before, I would post pictures of my face.
I would get comments
And dms
Telling me I'm beautiful
That I'm cute.

In real life,
People would ask me out.

However I don't see what they see.
I don't view myself as pretty
Or cute
Or sexy
Or beautiful.
I don't feel like I am.

I'm always treated like shit.
So i always just assumed that I am.

I've always known that I've got a sex appeal.
Ever since the hips came in.

Everyone just wants to fuck me
But no one wants to love me.

Everyone just wants to hit and quit

When I don't give it to them they get upset
And they throw me away.
I just want to be loved.
I'm human too.

I'm not some sort of sex doll.

Just because I make some sex jokes doesn't mean I want to fuck all the time.
Just because you call me pretty doesn't mean I will fuck you.
Just because we go out on dates doesn't mean I'll fuck you.

I'm not someone that you can just use and abuse whenever you feel like it.
Just because you treat me nicely or compliment me doesn't mean I owe you sex.

I want sex to come naturally,
With someone who cares about me.

But I've come to the realization that I'm asking for too much and at the end of the day they will still throw me away.

Just like everyone else.