Imagination || L.H.

Chapter 9

The silence ensuing Luke's abrupt departure is almost painful. 

I get to my feet, letting the blanket slide off of me. "I'll go talk to him," I say quietly. 

The warm evening air embraces me the second I step outside, softly closing the door behind me. 

Just as I suspected, Luke hasn't gone very far. I take a seat on the porch steps beside him, following his line of sight to the setting sun.

"I suppose you're here to yell at me about how I shouldn't have snapped at them like that," Luke says in a dry tone, feigning an air of nonchalance to mask the pain tearing him apart on the inside. "Cuz if you are, I'd like you to make it quick."

"I'm not here to yell at you, Luke," I reply, shaking my head from side to side. "I'm here to help, should you want it. I want to know why you do the things you do, why you say the things you say. You don't owe me an explanation of any kind, but when you're willing to tell me what all this is really about, I'm ready to listen." 

I glance over at him to find his eyes already fixed on me, an emotion I can't quite place hidden in the features of his face. 

"If you want me to leave, I'll leave," I say in a soft voice. "Just tell me what I can do."

"Stay," he murmurs, turning his body toward me. "I want you to stay here with me."

"Okay," I whisper back.

I don't move, maintaining my distance from him, making sure that I don't push him too far. It's a miracle he let me sit beside him without attacking me, a bigger one yet that he asked me stay. 

I lean back on my hands, tilting my face up the fading sun, basking in the soothing warmth as the sunlight caresses my skin. For all its amazing qualities, there are some things even San Francisco can't compare to. Sitting on Calum's front porch with Luke, watching the sun set before my eyes, taking in the familiar surroundings... 

There's not a thing I would change.

I jolt as Luke's hand brushes mine in a way that makes me wonder whether it was an accident or not. His eyes are on the skyline, but when he notices me looking, they flicker over to meet mine before returning to the sky.

A comfortable silence settles over us. He knows I'll listen to whatever he tells me, and I know not to push him. I think I see a curtain twitch out of the corner of my eye, but I continue studying the way the sunlight sets the outlines of everything on fire.

When the little light left finally leaves the sky, I get to my feet, wincing as the joints in my knees crack. 

Extending one hand down to Luke, I say, "It's getting dark out. Come on, let's go inside."

He bites his lip, an action that makes the ring pierced through the corner of his lower lip stand out. I wonder if he knows how weird the ring would look on just about anyone else. "I don't know..." 

He trails off hesitantly, allowing me to fill in the blanks left by his silence. He's worried about the reaction to his livid speech, worried that he'll go back inside only to be kicked out of another home. He's worried that he messed everything up again.

"There's only one way to find out," I say softly, responding to the inner thoughts he won't share aloud for fear of having to claim them and accept reality.

His ocean eyes widen a fraction of an inch, showing his surprise, their depths full of curiosity. 

Giving my open hand one last glance, he slides his hand into mine and lets me haul him to his feet. I drop his hand to open the door, stepping in first, bracing myself for what will come next. 

Calum has his back turned to the door, and when the creaking of the hinges gives away our presence, he whirls around, a shocked expression on his face. 

Mali Koa does a better job at hiding her emotions, staring at the uneaten apple clasped between her hands. Their mother only looks from me to Luke and back again.

Luke glues his eyes to his shoes, a strange look on his face. I slip behind him and nudge him forward with my shoulder. He shoots me a dirty look as he stumbles out of the doorway and into the kitchen.

Calum steps forward, placing a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. Luke glances down at his hand, surprised. 

"I... I'm sorry, Luke," he says, dark eyes impassive. "I didn't mean it like that, I was only trying to understand." 

He removes his hand from Luke's shoulder and extends it out to him. "We cool?"

Luke clasps Calum's hand, shaking it in agreement. "We're cool."

I smile softly, glad that the two boys have made up. I hate when my friends fight. 

Shoving my hands into the pockets of my jean shorts, I start to edge my way towards the door. "I should probably get going."

Luke offers me a small, surprisingly sweet smile, awkwardly waving goodbye as he heads down the hall to the guest room he's made his for the time being.

As soon as he's disappeared around the corner, Calum clears his throat and strides to the doorway I'm hovering in, announcing, "I'll walk you outside."

The balmy air envelopes me once again as I descend the stairs to reach my bike. Just before he dropped us off, Ash must have taken my and Luke's bikes out from the trunk and left them out for us.

I transfer my phone from my back pocket to the metal basket attached to the front, spinning around to face Calum. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Kat. You know exactly what I want to talk about." 

He leans back against the hand railing attached to the stairs. "What's going on between you and Luke? I thought you'd sworn off love?"

"Don't tell me you're jealous, Cal," I tease.

He makes a face at me, narrowing his eyes into brown slits. "Very funny. I don't want to watch you go through that again. It just about destroyed you and if you and Luke..." 

He shakes his head. "It will most likely end badly and I don't want to see two of my best friends suffer like that. He's struggling with enough right now."

The condescending edge in his tone gets under my skin. Swinging myself onto my bike, I yank the handle bars around so that I'm facing the street that his driveway branches off of. 

"Well, you don't have to worry about anything because we're not together," I snap. "We're just friends."

Pushing off from the ground, I pedal furiously away from the Hoods' house, grateful to the streetlights that seem to be everywhere. I throw my bike onto the ground savagely as I pull into my own driveway, slamming the door behind me.

"Kat?" My mom's voice drifts from the direction of the living room. 

I find her and my father sitting on the couch in front of the TV, which is tuned to an episode of Fixer Upper, a bottle of wine resting on the coffee table between them. 

Mom sets her half-finished glass down, twisting to look at me, her brow creased in concern. "Is everything alright, honey?"

I almost fall apart right there, but I force myself to nod and head up the stairs to my room. I don't feel like hearing how I've sworn off of love and how it will only end badly and how I shouldn't do anything rash for a second time today. Did anyone ever stop and ask me about how I feel? Whether I like him like that or not? Obviously the answer is no. That's the answer, isn't it?

My sudden uncertainty scares me and I sink down onto my bed, clutching my head between my hands. What's wrong with me?