Imagination || L.H.

Chapter 34

I walk Luke back to the Hoods', telling him to wait on the porch while I rush in and borrow Mali's car keys from her. He's staring at nothing with a distant expression when I come back. Gently, I rest a hand on his shoulder and he blinks, coming back to reality. "Luke? Are you ready to go?"

He nods, swallowing hard as we climb into Mali-Koa's car. He's silent until we're ten minutes away from the hospital, fiddling anxiously with the bracelets on his wrist. "I feel like this is all my fault," he mutters, burying his face in his hands as soon as the words leave his lips. "If I had just taken the pain and never turned to something to dull it, none of this would have happened. She'd be okay and she'd be happy."

"Luke, none of this is your fault." I wish I could reach over and hug him, but I really don't want to crash Mali's car. She would kill me and then raise me from the dead to kill me again. "You were doing the best you could. You can't blame this on yourself. She didn't know you reasons for turning to alcohol just like you don't know what her reasons for this are."

He picks his head up, blue eyes broken and devastated in a way that makes my heart break for him. "Then why do I feel so guilty? Why do I see her face when I was yelling at her at the reception every time I close my eyes?"

I switch on the turn signal as I make a right, frowning as I try to think of an answer to his questions. "You both went at each other last night. She probably feels just as guilty about it as you do. In fact, maybe that's one of her reasons." Sighing heavily, I pull into the closest empty parking spot I can find, killing the engine. "But you'll never know unless you go in there and try to make things right again."

Luke bites his lip ring nervously, glancing over at the hospital, ground lights illuminating the outsides of the towering building. His voice is small when he says, "Can you come with me?"

"Of course," I say, reaching over to squeeze his hand comfortingly.

His eyes flicker nervously around the lobby as I calmly ask the woman behind the front desk what room Liz Hemmings is in. She casts a sympathetic look at Luke before giving me the room number and helpful directions on how to get there. Thanking her, I gently tug at Luke's hand to get him moving towards the elevators.

"I hate this place," he murmurs as the elevator carries us up to the fourth floor. "I know I was unconscious when they brought in here, but it all smells the same." He shudders as the metal contraption around us dings and the doors slide open.

Tightening my grip on his hand, I search for the right sign, pulling him down a long hallway. "You're not stuck in here, Luke, not if you don't want to be. You can leave this place. You don't have to be here any longer than you want to."

He stops walking, our connected hands jerking me to a halt. I look quizzically at him, but his blue eyes are wide and anxious. "I'm not sure I should even be here. She doesn't want to see me. She hates me, Kat."

"She doesn't hate you," I assure him, placing a hand on the side of his face. "She's your mother. Of course she'll want to see you." Since he still doesn't look convinced, I add, "Look, I'll go in first if that will make you feel better."

Slowly, he nods, relaxing slightly as he lets me drag him down the hallway. I come to a stop in front of room 437, steeling my resolve. Tossing Luke a small smile I hope is reassuring, I cautiously step in the room first. He lingers behind the doorway, nervously peering over my shoulder.

Liz glances up when she notices my presence. Her expression turns oddly touched. "Kat? I didn't expect to see you here."

I offer her a small smile, taking another step forward. Luke's hand tightens on mine in warning. I squeeze his hand back as if to tell him that it's alright. "Actually, I brought someone to see you, if that's okay," I say quietly, turning to look at Luke. His eyes are wide and panicked. "C'mon," I murmur to him, gently pulling him after me into the room.

Liz pushes herself all the way up on the bed, gazing Luke in surprise. "Luke," she breathes.

He turns his head away from her, hiding behind me. I glimpse the tears gathering in his ocean eyes as he mutters, "We should go. I told you she didn't want to see me." He clings to my hand like it's a lifeline, the only thing keeping him from breaking.

I nod, starting to back out the room.

"Wait," Liz calls out. Luke freezes in his tracks, going rigid. He glances over my head at her, an unreadable expression on his face. "You don't have to go. It's good to see both of you." She tentatively gestures toward the couch placed next to her bed.

I stand perfectly still, allowing Luke to be the one to choose whether to stay or go. He's been at odds with his mother for a long time and it's taken a toll on him. Dark circles mar the skin underneath his eyes and he glances around anxiously, always thinking that something bad is going to happen next. Whenever he sees alcohol, he blanches, afraid of his inability to stay away from the substance. But the wounds his mother made by lashing out at him at the reception, when she threw him out of their house, have made a lasting effect.

To my surprise, he takes a step into the room, gently drawing me after him to the couch. I quietly settle in beside him, smiling softly. Liz all in all looks like she's doing fairly well. I'm grateful when she offers Luke a tentative smile and asks him gently about how he's been. The war going on between the two of them has been tearing both of them up, even if neither one wants to admit it.

They talk in the quiet, hesitant way that old friends do, taking care in how they word everything so they don't upset the other. I sit in silence, simply holding Luke's hand to offer a little support. The more they talk, the more they relax and the less forced the conversation seems.

I jump when the door bangs open and Jack skids to a stop in the doorway, his eyes wide and afraid. They turn incredulous as he straightens and glances back and forth between his mother and his brother. "How have you not torn each other to shreds yet?" he says.

Liz chuckles uneasily. "I realized that what I said at the wedding was extremely uncalled for and unacceptable." Luke looks at her in surprise, flinching at the word 'wedding.' "I'm sure Luke has his reasons for his slight problem with alcohol and it was wrong of me to not even bother to try to understand." She turns her eerily calm gaze on her youngest son. "If you're ready to explain, Luke, I'm ready to listen."

Luke looks helplessly at Jack. "I can't," he says, his breaking. "I can't tell you why."

"Why not?" Liz turns slightly irritated, but she doesn't look like she's about to attack him again. I tighten my grip on Luke's hand. "Don't you want to clear your name?"

"Not if it hurts people I care about," he fires back with a bit of passion. "I'll suffer through whatever I need to if that means protecting others." Clenching his jaw tightly, Luke gets to his feet, glancing down at me. "C'mon, Kat, let's go." He leads me toward the door, shoulders squared and ready to endure whatever he must.

"Luke Robert Hemmings," Liz says sharply. He stops in his tracks and I almost bump into him. "Don't you dare walk away from me, I am your mother!"

"Are you?" he demands, whirling on her angrily. Something inside him has snapped and his blue eyes are a hard wall of steel, blazing with unchecked rage. "Were you ever my mother when I needed you most? When I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me with my own brother?!" Jack pales where he stands in the doorway, looking like he's about to throw up. "Were you my mother when you disowned me? Were you my mother when you lashed out at me at the reception?" Panting hard, he takes a step back, shaking his head slowly. He looks at Liz as if he hardly recognizes her. "When were you ever my mother?"

She reaches out a hand for him, but he's already turned away, starting toward the door.

"Luke," Jack starts, his fingers brushing his younger brother's arm uselessly.

"Don't talk to me," Luke says in an icy, detached tone that scares me a bit. I stand still, frozen in place. Luke glances over his shoulder, his eyes searching for mine across the room. "Are you coming?"

I nod and follow him out the door. Destruction and chaos lie in our wake, and I wonder if it'll ever be fixed. Or is it too late? Is the true damage already done?