It's Complicated, Okay?

36

AMELIAS POV
I was sitting in my office at work panicking. I was pregnant. I knew I had to tell Owen. But how? How am I going to tell him I'm pregnant through a letter? I opened my draw and saw the folded note he wrote me and I smiled. I missed him so much. Seattle wasn't the same without him. Nothing was, work, home, anything. I took out a piece of paper and grabbed my pen and all I could do was look at the page. I had no idea how to put into words how I was feeling and how to tell him. Maybe I should wait? I don't know. I know Evelyn wants me to tell him, and I want to tell him, but this is such a hard decision. I heard my office door open and I looked up and it was Derek.
"Hey what's up?" He said and sat across from me.
"I'm trying to figure out how to tell Owen I'm pregnant," I signed and rolled my chair back.
"Letter?" He asked.
"No derek I'm flying over there," I said sarcastically.
"Do you want to tell him?" He asked.
"No," I said, "because then he's just gonna worry the whole time and I don't want him worrying while he's fighting all the time."
"He does need to know," He said.
"Yeah I know," I said.
"Maybe wait a little bit?" He suggested.
"I just can't believe this is happening," I sighed, "it wasn't supposed to happen like this."
"Hey it's okay," he said, "Owen will come back and everything will be okay, and you two are going to have ur amazing son or daughter and have an amazing little family."
"Thank you," I smiled, "I love you."
"Love you too Amy," he said.
"I'll figure it out," I said.
-
Here I am sitting in the same place an hour later. All I've written was Owen's name. I looked over at the window. It was such a nice day and that made me miss Owen even more, because all I would do here is stay inside and do nothing because he's gone. I brought my attention back to his letter and I grabbed my pen again. I looked down at the paper and finally I just knew I had to write it.

                    Owen,
                                   Hey honey, I miss you like crazy. I hope you're safe over there and fighting hard, and I can't even express how proud I am of you. And another thing I can't express is the next thing I'll write, and when you read it don't freak out. This morning I found out that I'm pregnant with your baby Owen. I'm so excited, and I don't want you to worry, because I have your mom and Derek, Meredith, and Maggie. Please don't worry about me because I'm okay, I promise, I knew I had to tell you, because you deserve to know. In 6 months we'll be together and we'll have our beautiful child together. I miss you more and more everyday but I am so incredibly proud of you and can't wait to see you again. I love you endlessly.
 

                     I love you,

                                        mia xoxo

I rolled back my chair as the tears fell down my face. I miss him so much. I can't do this without him, I can't go through this pregnancy alone, but I can't tell him that, but I need him here so badly. I folded up the piece of paper and then copied the mailing address onto an envelope. My office door opened and I looked up and wiped my tears as I looked up at Meredith.
"Hey," she said and sat down.
"Hey," I said.
"I'm not asking I'm telling, Derek and I are having you over for dinner tonight and I don't wanna hear anything about it you're not shutting us out," she said.
"Fine," I said.
"Did you write the letter?" She asked, "Derek told me."
"Yeah I did," I said.
"Well that's good," she smiled.
"Yeah," I sighed.
"He'll be back soon," she said.
"Yeah," I said, just wishing I was in his arms at this very moment.