She's Not Lily (Harry Potter/ Severus Snape fan fic)

Ch. 13 Spilling The Beans.

Sometimes, breakups aren't meant for makeup. Sometimes, they are meant for wake-ups. That's how I feel. I have been woken up to see how terrible the relationship between Severus and I was. We haven't spoken to each other in three days; I don't even try to answer a question in class because I know it would kill me just to talk to him. Ron and Harry haven't noticed a change in me, but Hermione has. I can see it in her eyes when I walk around the castle to avoid ignoring the reason for my stupid existence.

The black lake was frozen over with a thin layer of snowflakes over the top. A slight breeze danced around me as I lay on the ground, with the snow supporting me. A couple of Ravenclaws walked up to the castle hand in hand, looking so in love. I couldn't stand to look anymore, so I focused on the gray, dreary sky, clouds moving in slow motion. The sound of crunching snow caught my attention. I couldn't help but feel hope that Severus was coming to apologize. But disappointment quickly came over me as I noticed it was Hermione carrying books.

I sat up, leaving a dent in the snow where I had previously lay. Mione sat down next to me but didn't say a word. I couldn't help but feel confused about how she had been acting around me. She would have questioned me about my behavior by now, but she has not; she has just been strangely comforting.

"You know, don't you," I question while staring over the top of the lake.

"Know about what?" asks Mione.

"Severus."

I turn to look at her now to see her reaction. I guess I was wrong about Mione not knowing because she does. She looked at me with saddened eyes and nodded her head. I couldn't help but cry, fearing I had lost the only friendship that kept me sane. I felt her arms wrap around my body. I put my head on her shoulder and cried.

"I am so sorry," I tell her, trying to control my sobs.

"It's going to be okay," said Hermione while trying to be okay.

"Yeah.... because it's not happening to you."

Mione pushed me back so she could look at me. I see her look at me with the stern look she always gives Harry or Ron.

"No, because it will be okay. You have to get over it. So quit being dramatic and learn to love life."

I looked at her like she was mad, but I knew deep down she was accurate. I was being an overdramatic teenager. Everything with Severus felt like it would last forever, but I guess everyone has to wake up to reality.

"How did you find out?" I ask her while wiping off my tear-stained cheeks.

"The way you two look at each other, it's like you are the only two people in the world," Mione told me. " It wasn't that hard to figure out."

"I should have known I couldn't keep anything hidden from you," I say while stifling a laugh.

She laughed with me and pushed her frizzy hair back out of her face. I leaned my head on her shoulder as we stared out into the distance of the castle. The only sound was the slight breeze and our steady breathing. I would let it go until one question I was thinking about popped into my head.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I say while focusing on Mione.

She took a deep breath and looked at me wholeheartedly.

"Because I knew, in the end, you would make the right choice."

The right choice. The right choice would be Harry. Was she right about me making the right choice? Because I still feel like Severus is the only right choice for me.

"You know, Lily, you can't start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

It was utterly authentic. I needed to sort out whatever was happening between Severus and me before I moved on with Harry. My love for Severus can no longer be; it was wrong for it to start in the beginning. I see an owl fly our way before it drops a letter on my lap. On the cover, in familiar handwriting, read one word.

Lily.

I quickly ripped it open to read its content. Mione is reading over my shoulder to see what he has to say.

My dearest Lily,

There is much to be said, much to be said in one letter. Meet me in my office at ten p.m. It would give me hope if you show up.

~always

Severus.

Here I go again, breaking down crying once more. Mione took the letter from my hands and read it over. I then felt her hand rub comforting circles on my back.

"You know what you have to do," Mione told me before leaving me.

I am not mad that she left me, but I am grateful. I had so much to think about. My brain was telling me to leave Severus and stay with Harry. It was the most practical thing to do. Yet my heart told me to listen to Severus; he might be the one, not Harry.

When I walk back to the castle alone, my shoes make prints on the ground. Everyone seemed to be happy; why was I the only one upset? I notice Harry, Ron, and Mione up ahead, talking and laughing at something I couldn't understand. Harry notices me and waves me to come over to them. I wipe off my tear-stained cheeks while I walk over to my loving boyfriend and two best friends. Harry kisses me while he sits me on his lap. I look to Mione and give her a small smile and a slight nod. This is where I belong. I think...