She's Not Lily (Harry Potter/ Severus Snape fan fic)

Ch. 9 Occlumency

Life has been going great, ha, not really. Severus still gives me the cold shoulder after telling him I didn't want to mention the night of the kiss and that I wanted to continue our friendship. My private lessons are short and to the point. No more jokes, no more questions, he doesn't even act jealous of Harry like he did before the kiss. Speaking of Harry, I feel guilt from kissing Severus, which still eats me alive whenever I am near him. I am trying so hard to be the perfect girlfriend to Harry, but when Harry and I kiss, I feel sparks, but nothing compares to the thousand fireworks that exploded in my stomach when I kissed Severus.

I shouldn't even be thinking about my problems because, of course, something terrible happened last night. Harry had, I guess you could say, a vision of Mr.Weasley getting attacked. Ron, Ginny, and the twins had already left; Harry, Hermione, and I were expected to go some time this morning.

I fear for Harry, not because of Voldemort, but because he was with Severus. He was teaching Harry Occlumency. He would go through Harry's thoughts and memories. That scares me, why you ask? Because as much as Severus likes to pretend I don't exist, I feel like it is a way of getting back at me. And once Severus sees the memories Harry and I have shared, I'm not sure if he will react well.

(Severus's POV)

His lips were on Lily. That's what I see, that stupid potter smirk on his lips when she smiles up at him. But I know Lily, and that smile was not genuine. Her eyes didn't shine when she looked at him; instead, something else was shown in her eyes: guilt.

The next memory was when Potter found out that Lily's patronus was a doe. That Weasley tells him that they are going to be together forever.

"Focus, potter." I spat.

"I am!"

"You are just as stupid and arrogant as your father!" I harshly yell at him.

"Don't you talk about my father!"

He quickly took out his wand and pointed it at me.

"Legilimens!"

Images of Lily went through my head. The day she first arrived at Hogwarts. The day in our office when she was dancing around to some silly muggle song, laughing and telling me to dance with her.

The next memory started, and it was the day of our kiss. I had to stop it before our lips met.

"Enough!"

I stood back, glaring at Potter while he glared back at me.

"Your sick!" Potter screamed. "You have a crush on MY girlfriend, your student!"

"That's why you had her take private lessons! You are a sick git!"

"Get out, and I don't want to see you in this office again!"

He stormed out of the room, most likely telling Lily I think about her. I wonder how she will handle it.

Maybe Lily was right; perhaps this is wrong. I should tell Lily we should just remain friends. At least that's one way I can keep her in my life and keep her safe. I need to push back these romantic feelings, which I am unsure I have control over.
As much as I don't want to admit it now, Lily Duchannes has my heart, and I don't want it back.

(AN)

Sorry I haven't wrote in awhile I Have been traveling so I have been busy! But I'm back!

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