She's Not Lily (Harry Potter/ Severus Snape fan fic)

Ch. 12 Stuck In My Own Mind

The warmth from his body sent comfort through me. It was the first night back at Hogwarts after the holiday break, and it was cold and snowy. But the thing is, I wasn't cold; Severus is and will always be my warmth. The soft snores left his mouth while I stared at the beautiful ring on my finger.

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Harry has been acting weird all night. Mione said he had just been worried about Voldemort, but it seemed like something else. His green eyes met mine now and then; there was something in his eyes that I couldn't read. It made me wonder if it had anything to do with Severus thinking about me. I would understand that it would bother him what his professor thought about me, his girlfriend. Fred, George, and I are planning some pranks for Ron; the thing these twins come up with astounds me.

"Lily?"

I see Harry fiddling with his hands while looking down at me. Fred and George snicker at Harry's behavior; there must be something going on here that is way over my head. I looked at Mioine, and she was smiling, but when she saw me looking, she turned her head to her book like she wasn't paying attention to what was happening.

"Yes, Harry?" I ask while getting off my bum.

"Would you like to go on a walk?" he questions while holding his hand out for my own.

I grab his hand and look back to Fred and George.

"Don't worry, your pretty little hair, Lily; we will cover for you; go have fun, you two love birds." The two obnoxious twins tell us while exiting the room with papers of pranks.

Harry wastes no time and leads me to the door while we are excited about Grimmauld's place. The air was quite nippy, but what do I expect for it to be in London and winter? Everyone was in the Christmas spirit; the trees were lit up in windows, and you could see snowflakes fall on the tip of my light, pale skin. Harry led me to a small park where the snow lay gently on the ground. We sat down on a bench close to a bare tree. Each unique snowflake drops down on us, melting on our warm yet still-cold skin.

"Lily, I love you," Harry says while he grabs my cold white hands.

"As I love you, Harry," I say while forcing down my guilt.

He seemed to gain confidence because he got up and went on the ground to stand on one of his knees, making his black pants gain specks of white. He reached into his pocket to pull out a small box big enough for a ring. My mind was spinning in an infinite amount of directions. This couldn't be what I think it is, could it? He opens the box to show a beautiful ring. My voice got caught in my throat, and I couldn't even tell Harry he was being irrational!

"Lilly, I think you are truly amazing. You are perfect, even if you say you are nowhere close. I now believe in fate because I think that brought us together. We are meant to be together, Lily. This may be unbelievable, but this is not an engagement ring. Mione told me you would flip if it were, but this is just a promise ring, a promise for us to stay together to the end, whenever possible. So Lily Duchannes, do you promise to stay with me forever?" Harry tells me while holding on to me with one hand while the other holds the ring of promises.

Could I promise Harry forever when another man holds my heart? Harry may be right that fate brought us together. I couldn't believe what was happening; my mind was bouncing back to Severus and then to Harry. This is too much to handle. Maybe I could just run for it and never return, obliviate Harry's mind so he would forget everything about me, yet something was stopping me. I was in love with Harry, that's what it must be. Yet I can't help but ask myself how I loved Harry when my heart was so true to Severus.