All at once.

Chapter 23

My stomach aches, my brain is going crazy and I'm frozen to the ground.

Harry. What the fuck is Harry doing with here?

"Heeeey Jessie! You look really good!" Zayn walks fast up to me and gives me a hug.

"These are the guys, Niall, as you've met, Liam, Louis and Harry"

He nods at every guy as he says their name.

"And this... This is the girl I've been talking about! Jessie"

I just stand there staring blankly at Harry. I did not expect this

"Do you guys know each other?" Zayn looks surprised at both me and Harry. I have no clue what to say.

"No, we just live at the same hotel, that's why I recognised her! Isn't that true?"

Harry walks up to me and shakes my hand, so does the other guys. I just nod and smile...

We sit down and I'm starting to loosen up, now I'm able to speak anyways. But I'm not even near my full social potential.

Perrie is looking concerned at me, I meet her eyes with a face that says 'get me out of here'.

The conversation goes on around the table but I'm still not saying much, neither does Harry. Did he know about this?

Or is he just as surprised as me?

"Excuse me, I need to run to the bathroom"

I stop Liam in the middle of his sentence about when they were visiting China.

I rise up and walk quickly away. I look myself in the mirror but doesn't look for so long, I can't bare to see myself right now, or anyone else for that matter.

"Are you alright?"

I turn around to see Harry. He's wearing a black shirt with white hearts on it. His hair is laying perfectly messy but his eyes isn't as sparkly green as always.

"No... Are you?"

"Not really... If I had any idea that you were the girl Zayn has been going nuts about I would never..."

He looks down at his feet. Like he can't say the last part of his sentence.

"You would never what?"

"I would never have gotten feelings for you Jessie, but I have and I have no clue how to just take them away. I know it's probably really early to say, but it's now or never"

He takes a step forward and crashes his lips into mine, I put my hand against his soft yet hard chest to push him away.

It's not right.

"If I knew you even knew Zayn I wouldn't even think about you in this way. But here we stand, and Zayn is a really nice guy. I don't want to hurt him"

I feel tears pushing behind my eyelids. Why am I crying? Im not in love, or I don't think so.

"Not me either. But shall we just cancel this whole thing? Im sure I don't want to do that, would you?"

I can see Harry is having a hard time controlling his emotions now too. His eyes is turning slightly red and he's pressing his lips together.

"It wouldn't been my first choice... But after yesterday..."

I had to bring up last night, the night I sat for hours waiting for him to knock on my door.

"Jessie... I know I didn't show up, and I'm so so sorry, seriously! But I was rehearsing for today, and Zayn wanted it to sound perfect because you guys were coming so we were there all night..."

"You could've called me?"

"Yeah, but I didn't have a good enough excuse to cancel with you, probably cause I really didn't want to"

"How about you could've just call and tell me the truth?"

"With the chance of you changing how you saw me because I'm in one direction? I didn't have the guts, you need to understand that. With you it feels so right, no musts, no high expectations and with you I know for sure that you're really with me because of me and not because I'm famous or something. That's why I didn't tell you the truth, I didn't want to ruin that. I know it all had to come out eventually but I was planning to tell you on a nice date or something, not in this gross bathroom"

I stand there speechless. Almost near a chuckle when I see Harry looking disgusted around the bathroom.

"I really don't want us to go separate ways Jessica... "

He's serious again, this time taking my hands and looking deep into my eyes.

"We need to, Harry"